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Unsure of feelings

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by LivingInLyric, May 30, 2011.

  1. LivingInLyric

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    My best friend recently came out as a lesbian. Recently we've been getting very close; she likes to lean on my shoulder when we sit together on the couch, and she sends me texts that she loves me and such.

    My issue is that I'm not sure how I feel about her. After my last relationship with a guy, I realized that I'm not ready for sexual closeness - he only tried to kiss me, but I found myself afraid and unwilling to be physically close to him. Ever since that, I've had difficulty trusting others.

    Here's the hard part - I only trust and find myself attracted to older women. My coworker, for example, is bisexual, and I would leap at the chance to get romantically close to her if it were not for the age difference. I think this has to do with my own personal fears of betrayal and loss.

    So I asked my best friend on a date for next weekend. She texted me and asked me if she could kiss me. I responded that I wasn't sure how I would feel in the moment and how ready I am to begin a relationship of that nature.

    I don't want to ruin our friendship.

    There's also the fact that my parents are incredibly homophobic and her parents would definitely not approve if we got together.

    My question is, do you think I should go on a date and give it a shot? What should I do if she tries to kiss me? I have no one to confide in, and it hurts that I can't even talk to my own mother.:bang:
     
  2. Hexagon

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    Confide in her. Before the date, tell her everything about your misgivings, about how you're not sure if you want to be kissed yet, and that you do care about her. Go on the date, but take it slowly, and make it clear that you'll tell her went you want to get physical.

    I would sugest not to go past hand holding and stuff for the first date. If you feel like it at the end, kiss her on the cheek or something.

    I don't really know how to deal with feeling attracted to older women, as I've never really had experience with it, but especially when your just starting out its best to stick with people your age.

    Just don't tell your parents, at least not until you feel ready and are sure your not going to be beat up/thrown out.