Hey guys, it's been a while! So this weekend I went to my friend's college graduation party where I met one of her friends from college. We talked and hit it off but he left shortly after. That was when I found out that he was gay, and I got excited because I had noticed him when I got there and thought he was cute. Our mutual friend told me that he was gay and looking for essentially the same kind of guy I am looking for. Someone who doesn't go to clubs, isn't super flamboyant (but a little is ok) and isn't obnoxious about the fact that they're gay. Well our friend also told me that he said he really enjoyed talking to me. We had mentioned hanging out since he lives a few blocks from me. I really want to hang out with him, but i'm not sure how to go about it. I added him on Facebook the night I met him (i could have been more mysterious, but I got excited! lol) I want to invite him to hang out, but I don't know what to do or what we'd talk about (which i know you can't really plan, but I just hate awkward silence). So give me some ideas.... How should I go further with this? I'm really into this guy and he sounds like the ideal guy for me right now. He's cute, lives really close, and is in school for another year, so he'll be around! What to say, where to go, and what to do?! I am fairly sure he's interested, unless our friend was just trying to play match maker, but he talked to me at the party on his own...
Well I am in your neck of the woods so I can defiantly give you some good advice from my stand of view. For the first hang out I would treat it as a friendship hang out not as a I really like you. You should hold back your needs to be with this guy for the first time and maybe a few after this. You will just want to ask him if he would like to hang out with you. Do some of the local boston actives and just get to know him as a friend. You can consider to tell him the fact you are gay but don't rush into it. You can do the boston duck tours, go to a museum/aquarium, or anything that he has in interest in. Maybe bowling, arcades, or something fun. Beach is another option for you too. Good luck with everything!
Not speaking from experience, but maybe you can message him in FB and say say hi, it was nice meeting/talking to him at the party, etc. If the exchange goes well, suggest meeting for lunch or a drink or coffee, or maybe he will suggest it :icon_wink. Hopefully you get along well on a second meeting. It's awesome you live so close together if things go well. I hope he contacts you first so it's easier on you. Hey, if not a boyfriend, maybe a good friend. Good luck!
well for one you said that you too conversed pretty well at the party so i really dont see that being much of a problem. as far as things to do, lunch to me is the best date/hangout, it leaves plenty of time for activities after, or an excuse to leave if you are uncomfortable. that and being in a public place is always easier for everyone, with boston being so diverse on the food scene im sure you could pick out a nice place in the gayborhood (south end) with some really nice outdoor seating or something. thats just my thought on it.
>>>What to say, where to go, and what to do?! You talked to him for a while. Do you remember anything he was into? If not, well, you're friends on Facebook. Do a bit of digging. What sorts of things does it look like he's into? Movies, music, sports? I wouldn't feign interest in something you have no interest in, but look for some sort of commonality. If you like seeing sporting events, and it looks like he does, too, why not invite him to see a local sporting match? Or if he looks like he's more into indie music, perhaps invite him to a local band concert. Lex
As a friend of mine who's more well versed in these matters than I am once told me, the easiest way to go about these kinds of the things is to frame anything you do with him to start the friendship off as something other than a date. You said you two hit it off, so whatever you were talking about, you could frame it as having something to do with that. If you both like movies, ask if he'd like to see a movie, then once you've seen it, go for a walk and talk about it. If you bonded over shared interest in a band, you could have a "let's sample each other's tastes in music" kind of shindig. If you both like video games, get together to play some. Whatever you talked about should give you an idea as to what you could do to motivate the get-together. Also, if you two hit it off, it isn't unreasonable to think he might enjoy the prospect of spending time with you again on its own, so if you really can't think of anything, just ask if he'd like to hang out. Since you hit it off at the party, it's quite possible you would find conversation quite easy. You could suggest going for a walk if you enjoy that kind of thing, since that could give you things to talk about if you encounter an awkward silence. If you're at all nervous about it, an easy way to allay those nerves is to just focus on strengthening the friendship at first. A good friendship is the basis of a strong relationship, so it would be a step in the right direction, and it will probably make the prospect less intimidating, as well. Who knows? If the friendship goes well, he might take the initiative to take it further! But don't discount the possibility that you might have to do it, either.
Ha ha, Massachusetts ROCKS! Thanks for the tips guys! I might just throw a party soon and invite him... That seems like the easiest way to get him to spend a little more time with me so I can at least get his number.
I don't know if you are both into sports, if you are maybe invite him to go and watch the Bruins game somewhere in town. I would send him a message and just tell him that you enjoyed talking to him and would like to hang out sometime. Remember nothing ventured nothing gained.
