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Relationship roles

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by thedylan, May 31, 2011.

  1. thedylan

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    So i would just like to say hello i was on here for a month previously then was scarred of the fact that i might be bi-sexual and after some hard contemplation I have decided to embrace it so now I am wondering about the roles in a relationship because when Im with a woman i feel a more butch role should be take and i fit right into it and everything is hunkydory but everytime i think about myself in a relationship with a man I see myself as being a more femme role(and please dont be offended i am not sure what else to call it) but to me that seems an attractive idea but am unsure to as if it would work or not being able to switch so easily from the butch role to the femme or should i find a happy median.
     
  2. Daryn

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    Just be you! Don't focus on the "role"- focus on what you feel comfortable doing and what feels right in different situations. Trust yourself and you'll be fine :slight_smile:
     
  3. Lolguy

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    I really don't follow any "roles" in relationships. I just act normal. Nothing should really change when you enter a relationship (other than the whole "you should probably be paying attention to your partner" thing). Like Daryn said, just be yourself. Don't think that you need to fit some sort of image, because you don't.
     
  4. whatsnormal7

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    I dont think that there have to be roles in relationships... I think that you should not think about it and act as you normally would. If roles develop then thats fine but I wouldnt be too concerned with it.
     
  5. thedylan

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    thankyou guys i understand this i was just wondering about what should i do if im having problems because like i said im more manly around women but when im around men I want to be treated more femme and i dont know if this is normal and would like to know how to handle it
     
  6. Ecap1

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    That's not a problem at all dude, and there's really no reason to "know how to handle it." It's just a preference. With women, you feel in charge. But with guys, you want to feel protected and be the little spoon. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm kind of the same way (sometimes). Don't think too much about it
     
  7. Lexington

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    I think most couples - gay and straight - don't really go into relationships with preset ideas as to what their "roles" will be. They seem to sort themselves out rather automatically as the relationship develops. There WILL be some periods of awkward adjustment as you learn more about each other, and what their expectations are, though. To pick a simple example, when I met up with my partner, I considered birthdays to be really no big deal at all, and he expected a huge to-do for each one. So that was something we had to work on in order to figure out how to deal with our birthdays. But many of the other things sort of fell into place naturally. I never really thought "once I get into a relationship, I'll do the dishes", for instance, but I do them now. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  8. Holmes

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    It's easy to get stressed about these things when considering the prospect of a relationship. None of this matters at all until you get into one, and then only to the two of you. I'd echo those who day not to focus on this till you get there. And if you find that between different relationships, you're the more femme or butch one (again, for want of better terms), that shouldn't be any big deal.
     
  9. malachite

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    there is no "role" per-say in relationships, just two people who feel an attraction and some sort of emotional connection. If you feel right being the fem then be that.