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Am I retarded for meeting someone 2.5 hours away that I don't know?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mind Freak, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. Mind Freak

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    This guy I met online offered to get me a hotel to come spend the weekend with him. he's really cute and really nice, I've talked to him on skype and on the phone so I know he's who he is. But what do yall think? Am I a nut or is this kind of stuff normal?
     
  2. Chip

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    How old is he? ANd how long have you been speaking to him online? Would you be driving to meet him, or would you be taking a bus or train, and reliant on him for transportation?

    All of those are factors that should be considered. In general, you're talking about a somewhat risky proposition, but I'd need to know more before I could meaningfully suggest whether (in my opinion) it's a good idea.
     
  3. Mind Freak

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    I'm driving, he's 18, and we've been talking for like 4 or 5 days.
     
  4. Filip

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    4/5 days is rather short to really get to know someone. I'm not saying I think he's lying (actualy,despite some horror stories, I think most people are still quite OK), but I do think some caution is called for. Personally, I think I'd wait another week or two. If he's as awesome as you give him credit for, he should still be around a month from now!

    If you would consider meeting him, I'd seriously think you need to arrange your own transport (though it seems you already have that) and hotel, think of how you can bail out if things don't go well, and arrange to meet up in a public place first. Don't ever be dependant on a stranger in an unknown place!

    Ideally, even though it's 5 hours total travel time, I think you're better off meeting for one day first. Which gives you he least risk, and still allows you to get an impression of him in real life. Again, if he's an awesome guy, there'll be plety of opportunities for weekends together later!
     
  5. Shevanel

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    This :slight_smile:
     
  6. ArcaneVerse

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    +1 Also let someone know where you are going and what times and when you will be expected back so if something goes wrong someone will know some details.
     
  7. Z3ni

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    Stick a tracker on his car, and if he gives you a drink thats sizzlings , avoid it.

    And what the others said :lol:
     
  8. zzzero

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    You should meet him half way first and meet him in public. As long as things go well and you feel okay about the situation, then he's just another kid you met.

    You really haven't even known him for a week, so I'd just be sure that you really want to meet him first
     
  9. Pancake

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    I would also have to agree that getting to know him a bit better would be your best option. Have you actually talked using video chat on Skype? If not, I would recommend it, just to make sure he is actually who he is saying he is.
     
  10. Chip

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    Excellent advice from all, and I heartily agree with everything that's been said.

    I'd put double emphasis on doing Skype video chat (or something equivalent) if you haven't already. But with that, and if you've taken all the advice above, I'd say you're about as safe as you can be under the circumstances.
     
  11. ballin1718

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    im gonna go against everyones advice kinda. if you spoke to him on the phone, and had video chats with him on skype and you know what he looks like 100 percent i say do what you want.

    the only thing i agree with is just be smart and understand your surroundings and if anything seems off you just need to realize that. overall though even though 5 days of talking seems short, its kinda not if you've been talking everyday for several hours or what not.

    just be smart & have fun!
     
  12. Lexington

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    I think saying something is "retarded" is totally gay.

    Other than that...

    I'd meet him somewhere other than the hotel first. Meet at a coffee shop nearby. Talk with him for half an hour or so. Get used to being in his physical presence. If you don't get a weird vibe, go ahead and go for it. Bring your own condoms and lube, and make sure you know how to use them.

    Lex
     
  13. Austin

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    Make sure you see him on skype or webcam somewhere! Add him to facebook (and check if his friends live around him and know who he is)...
     
  14. xequar

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    Public place!
    Public place!!!
    Public place!!!!!
    PUBLIC PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Meet him first at a public place, like a coffee shop or mall or something. Hang out for a couple of hours and see what there is to see. Meeting people is cool. Meeting people first in a public place is even cooler. If he turns out to be a wierdo or something, it's quite a lot easier to bail out of a public place.
     
  15. malachite

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    Well, at a hotel he is probably look for sex. If that is what you want then be safe, bring protection (condoms, a gun etc.)

    If that isn't what you want then meet in a public place first and make it clear to him BEFORE you make the trip that will be no intention of having sex.

    Also be sure people know you're going and WHERE you're going.

    As for retarded........nah.

    Be safe
     
  16. Skiel

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    Yes you are. I would never meet someone at a hotel. I agree with the above saying to meet at a public place. You never know if he might be crazy. I believe that hooking up online is a stupid thing to do though. sorry. Even if you were both planning to pursue a relationship, my rule of thumb is, if I haven't dated you for at least 6 months-1 year, we are not having sex. Since he is insisting on getting a hotel that he is willing to pay for, then he is looking for a one night stand. If that's what you want too, then I would suggest you to go on the computer and look at porn as a substitute. One night stands/hook-ups=Never a Good idea.
     
  17. Lexington

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    >>>I believe that hooking up online is a stupid thing to do though. sorry. Even if you were both planning to pursue a relationship, my rule of thumb is, if I haven't dated you for at least 6 months-1 year, we are not having sex. Since he is insisting on getting a hotel that he is willing to pay for, then he is looking for a one night stand. If that's what you want too, then I would suggest you to go on the computer and look at porn as a substitute. One night stands/hook-ups=Never a Good idea.

    There's no problem with not being interested in one-night stands, or in waiting for awhile in a new relationship to get physical. But that doesn't mean the people who ARE interested in one-night stands, or who don't have any qualms about getting physical early in the relationship, are doing it wrong. That's totally their call.

    Lex
     
  18. Skiel

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    Yeah I guess it is everyone's choice and it's not wrong. but with so many STDs lurking around. hooking up seems too dangerous. Even with protection, they are not fool proof...
     
  19. Idonteven

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    ^ this

    except for the gun part :thumbsup:
     
  20. Mind Freak

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    Woah! I never said anything about hooking up! Lol. We would be going to hang out in public first like at the beach or something and that night going to a club but I wouldn't be just shacking up and knocking boots with him.