Hey guys.. So I want to tell my story, sorry if it's long this is actually the first time i've ever written or spoke about this anywhere, so I imagine typing this out will be rather cathartic for me, anyway here goes! So I can remember from a pretty young age having an interest in both guys and girls. I had a 'girlfriend' in fifth grade that I 'loved' (lol.. but in all honesty I remember having pretty strong, genuine feelings for her at the time) and I also had a crush on one of my friends, who was a guy. I even remember in second grade finding a dirty magazine and getting just as excited over the guys in the magazine as the girls. I went to an all-boys high school and I think this is where my attraction to guys really began to become significant to me. As I have gotten older, my desires for guys has increased. I don't know if this is because these are desires that I have never explored physically or if it means that i'm gay, not sure but at this stage Bisexual seems comfortable, seems like it fits. I've been aware of this for quite some time and whilst I haven't supressed it, I hadn't really accepted it until now. At one stage in my life I decided that I was just going to ignore how I was feeling and 'play it straight' but found that shutting myself off was impossible. I don't want to sell my self short, I want to experience and explore this other side of me, however I have also realised that it is pretty much impossible to explore my Bi side when nobody knows that i'm bi (well alot of people assume I have an interest in guys, i'm not feminine but I guess I have a 'quality' but i've never revealed it to anyone.) So i'm ready to start the process and i'm kind of terrified.. So any advice and help anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated. I think what i'm scared of is the 'now what' factor.. and By that I mean, once i've come out to the first person.. now what? Like I don't know how I can make it a process. Having said all that i'm ready to try. Thanks guys.
You seem pretty certain of your sexuality, so I doubt you need time to consider your feelings on the subject any further. The best bit is to possibly try coming out to a close friend (or more) if you're sure they're comfortable with the idea and go on from there.
Yoooo I will come at you brah! (sorry, had to) By starting the process, do you mean coming out to more people, or experimenting with other guys?
Hey i just recently came out to some co-workers and they help me so much and the thing that helped me the most was one of my co-workers had the gay friend slot open(sorry for the term thats just how she described it) so i tried to fill it and after a week of becoming more sure of how to be more comfortable with my self I was able to figure out how to come out to people easier and how to just live my life how it feels right to live it so if anything I would find a girl who needs that and tell her that your bi- and would like some help becoming comfortable with it I lucked out cuz mine is a bi-sexual girl so her and I talk about men and women all the time its the best. Im sorry I went into my life a little bit but I hope this helps.
I can't really say much, barely having come out myself, but perhaps if you tell a close friend then they will be able to help you continue the process. If you are both part of a group, be that friends, colleagues, etc. then you could go on to tell the rest of that group. I hope to tell one friend, then the circle we are both part of, then my class/yeargroup . . . I would recommend telling your family before you come out to lots of people, as even if you swear everyone to secrecy someone is bound to let slip. If you have close siblings you might wish to tell them before your parents, as they could then back you up. Ultimitely, who you want to tell is up to you. Facebook would allow you to come out to everyone but if there are people you don't want to know, it would be harder to keep it from them. Good luck!
You sound like you've already come out to the most important person - you. Now you can expand outward. Think about this objectively for a second - you have to talk to somebody about something big and important. Like you're in trouble with the law, or there's problems at work, or you found out you're going to inherit a bunch of money and you don't know what to do with it. Who in your circle of friends would you go to to talk about this stuff? Assuming that person is fairly comfortable with the whole topic of alternate sexualities, that person is usually the best person to come out to first. So that would be your first person to talk to. After that, you can enlist that person's help as to who to tell next, and the best way to go about it - individually, phone, e-mail, facebook? Lex
