Im going to break this up into two different sections for ease of both myself and you. The first being about my relationship with my current(and first) bf and the second about our sex. 1: So first off I have a bf yay!!! Thats what I felt when it first started a few weeks ago, that has since faded a bit. I will re-visit this. For now there are things that I absolutely enjoy about him and us and things that I am a bit unsure about. Let me break them down. LIKES: 1. We get along great 2. Conversation is easy and sometimes in depth, for me that is a big plus 3. We enjoy each others company 4. He is sexy 5. The sex is great(for what Im listing now) 6. He has a great job and is fairly independent 7. To the public Im out, to my family Im not, so he can really show me some cool things that I haven't experienced before. DISLIKES: 1. We have different religious views, sort of a big deal for me 2. We are at different points in our sexuality. Also, listed above however, here I feel like Im not living up or maybe it aggravates him in a way. Which I truly think is bull but I cant help think it anyhow. 3. He is very clingy. And I mean extremely clingy. Mind you none of these are listed in any specific order, and not a complete list for the sake of not making this post too long. So I wanted to revisit the whole yay!!! I have a bf thing. The first time we hung out we really connected, both emotionally and physically, yes we had sex. And I am killing myself for that now. I think it may have been a bit much for each one of us to handle , we have discussed this and he says it isnt a problem. I think it might be. Also, we did jump into a relationship, Im thinking its because of this whole "teenage dream" thing Lex mentioned in another thread. ok so number 2: I love it, its passionate, fun, and just great. Where Im having a problem is I am not a big fan of things being done to me aside from making out and bottoming. I can handle him just fine and he seems pleased, although I wish we could skip some of it sometimes and get right to the grinding. Also, I feel like some of this might tie into it so this thread is me http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/46761-conditional-erections.html Anyhow, I suppose what Im looking for is, was it to fast to jump in bed? Should I call it off now or give it a little longer? I dont want to do this either because I dont want to lose the sex. And with the sex, is the whole me only wanting to bottom weird? Has anyone come across this before?
Hi! Now might be a good time in the relationship to talk about issues you're having before they might build up. : ) Wanting certain things from sex is very normal, and many many people are a lot more specific about what they enjoy and still have healthy relationships. I don't know how long you waited to have sex, but it really depends on your own personal views about what is too soon. I don't have a 'too soon'; lots of relationships (like my current one) start from hook-ups and develop from there. But if you feel like you want to lay off it for a bit, then you should discuss that with your boyfriend. Congratulations! I hope it works out between you both!
Ben's right. Don't tell us - tell him. Let him know your concerns. Let him know your favorite parts of the sex, but ask him what parts HE likes best, too. He's not duty-bound to only fulfill your needs if he likes some other aspect of it more. That's part of the give-and-take of actual sex - you suddenly have another person's wants and needs to take into consideration. Lex
ya its the harsh reality but true. I spoke to a good fined of mine about this last night and she basically said the same thing. Thanks for the swift kick of logic. Now its onto him.....
