So here's the story. Less than a year ago, I finally figured out that I'm gay. It was a liberating experience, since I finally knew what I was and I wasn't stressing out over it anymore. A month or two after, a girl transfered to our school. I was the only person she knew when she came here, so I was asked to be her peer advisor. I accepted gladly. We got to know each other, and we became good friends over the year and the summer. A few weeks after I met he, she admitted to me that she was attracted to me. This was after I came out to her, so I wasn't forced to break her heart. I didn't think about it at first, but as we got to know each other, I began to feel a quasi attraction towards her. It was completely an emotional thing, and it was only in my heart, not my libido. It was only a minor thing, so I wasn't conflicted by it or anything. After the summer ended, we saw each other more often, and that's when the "trouble" started. We were walking on the beach one night, just the two of us, and I felt something for her that I had never felt before. So, we kissed. We kissed for a good 10 seconds. I then walked he back to her house, but before getting there, we kissed again. We didn't really mention it after we got to her house and her parents gave me a ride home. Recently, I went over to her house to hang out, and we kissed again... three times, each one longer than the last. What made this confusing for me was that I enjoyed it. I felt like I had achieved a connection with her that transcended gender, and I felt like I was in love. Even as I write this, I am weak from thinking about kissing her. Now I don't know what to do. I actually though I had figured it all out, in regard to my sexuality, but now I don't know what I am anymore. I have always been physically attracted to men, but my emotional attractions have never followed any one pattern. Now, with this, I really don't know anymore. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Do you have any advice on how I should handle this?
there's a chance that u could be bi and u just haven't been physically attracted to girls yet...this is something u ahv to decide for yourself though. can u see urself in a realationship w/ both girls and guys or only guys? also, remember that u don't have to classify urself. u can wait until ur sure, or nevr classify urself. whatever u decide, everyone at EC is here for u.
You are 17. You don't really need to decide this right now. Enjoy your time with this girl and see what happens.
Like biisme said, if you still like guys maybe it was just you didn't really mean a girl you liked until now. So there is a chance that you are bi. But! that doesn't mean that you are 100% it just means there is a chance that you are.
I agree with Becky. Go with what seems right now and don't worry about labels. It is not as clearly defined as straight, bi or gay anyway. Those labels suggest one end of the scale, right in the middle of the scale or at the other end of the scale, whereas in practice you could be anywhere along it and could vary over time. We have a thread here http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1817 where people pot themselves on a scale of 0 to 6 with 0 being 100% straight and 6 being 100% gay. The highest scoring was 5, however you may find some of the replies interesting.
Thanks for all the replies. I've been considering the possibility that I'm bi, but I doubt it for many reason. For one, when I started masturbating, I always fantasized about guys, even before I considered that I might be gay. Also, I watched real pornogrophy at her house, and I wasn't even turned on at all. And I once groped her, and I didn't feel any excitement or anything like that. And I'll be the first to say that she has nice breasts. I'll say in my defense that I only groped her because she claimed that I didn't have the balls to do it, and I wanted to prove her wrong just for the sake of proving her wrong. Anyways, I've never been sexually atracted to girls or even turned on by them. That's why this is so confusing for me.
Meh... I still like my best friend whom I don't remain in much contact with now... I loved her breasts but never got turned on by them. I remember reading before you can be attracted to someone sexually, emotionally and something else. I can do both with guys, but it's only emotional for me with girls. P.S. Alamo rules. "TREE DURID IS MAKE STRONG HOT! ONLY DON’T GIT 2 CLOSE 2 FIRES LOL!"
I'm not sure if you can count not being turned on by straight porn as a good mesure, loads of straight people arn't especially turned on by porn. If you touched your friends breasts as a dare, just to prove that you would I'm not surprised that it didn't excite you. You are comparing things that are not comparable. You are in a friendship where you really appreciate the person your friend is, you enjoy her company, her humour, whatever. I think you are probably in love with her so of course when you kiss her it feels wonderful. If you take things further with her on a loving basis I am sure you will find yourself physically excited by her. I don't know if this will make sense but I don't think you are in love with a 'girl' you are in love with a person be that person male or female. Don't worry about it, live it to the full, enjoy it and see where it takes you.:icon_bigg
Well... I personally, have one friend who is a girl, that I feel an "attraction" (for lack of a better word) to, but only in a hold, hug and kiss way, there is love there, but not a sexy love. Any time I think about anything else, I am turned off. We just have a very close relationship, and share things, and every once and a while when sharing deep emotions, or drunk, we might kiss. The kiss feels wonderful, but I could not bring myself to do anything more if I wanted. (We have only kissed a few times, don't want it to sound like it is a daily thing..)
She sounds like a really nice person. And it sounds like she really cares for you. You should do what you think is right. This might sound really cheesy but you should listen to what your heart says.
She is a nice person, but I've decided that what I had towards her was just a friendship that transended gender and not an attraction that could have blossomed into a relationship. I've decided to tone it down to "just friends" level.
