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Uninterested in sex, relationships

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mogget, Jun 4, 2011.

  1. Mogget

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    So, after spending most of last year angsting over the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend (among other things), I'm finally in a position where there're guys who want to date me. And I don't care. I have no desire to date, don't really want a relationship, don't even want sex. I'm not depressed, I haven't felt this happy in ages, in fact, so I'm not sure what's up. I was a complete douche to a guy I didn't want to date because I didn't realize I what was going on in my head, and now he wants nothing to do with me (I'd've liked to stay friends), and I promised another guy a date ages ago and now have no desire to go on it.
     
  2. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Maybe, and this is a huge maybe, you are nervous about being in a relationship and don't allow yourself to want one for that reason?

    Other than that I have no idea why the huge change, but if it isn't bothering you too much I would just accept it as is and be happy with what you have right now :slight_smile:
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! I am so glad that you are not depressed and are happy. That's good! :slight_smile:

    Maybe you have reached a point, where you just want to enjoy your life and be single for a while. That's totally fine. If someone wants to date you or asks you out, and you don't feel into it, be honest with them and maybe just say you would like to be friend for now.
     
  4. Elven

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    I don't see any problem with it. If you don't want or see the need for a relationship or sex, at least for the moment, then that's fine. Maybe you'll feel more for it later or if you just want to stay single then go for it as long as you're happy.
     
  5. TheRoof

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    if you are happy, i think it doesn't matter. it's my personal opinion that society puts too much importance on judging people based on whether they are in relationship or not.
     
  6. Filip

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    So you're bothered that it's not bothering you? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Honestly, though, I think it's a good thing. Ideally, you should be happy in your life the way it is, and then just take every opportunity on its own merits.
    You shouldn't take a boyfriend to just fill a boyfriend-shaped hole in your life, but because you seriously grow to like a guy and feel like sharing your life with him.

    Ideally, that doesn't preclude saying "I'm not open to dating, but I wouldn't mind hanging out sometimes", as you can never have enough friends or acquaintances.

    I do recognise the feeling, though. The idea that your own happyness might just hide some secret fault that you're unaware of. I actually have that quite often too (even last week, I was halfway angsting over the shocking revelation that I seem to have everything under control at work, which caused me to start angsting about imaginary disasters hanging over my head). As far as I could find, it's just your mind paying tricks. If you're happy, you shouldn't second-guess too much, I say!