This may seem stupid to some people but I am genuinely gutted. My parents have just return ed from a vacation. Anyway while they were away I was informed the classification of my degree, we had a brief maybe 1 or 2 min conversation about while they were away. But they have came home and neither one of them has mentioned not a congratulation or anything. Eeven worse is I messed up and got a 2:2 and this has been killing me inside ever since, I pretend like I'm ok with it but I have realistically wasted the last 4 years of my life and I'm devastated the fact no one picks up on this especially my parents kills me. All during my final year I was having dark thoughts and I was referred to a councillor and put on anti depressants. No one picked up on how I was feeoing and this makes me feel even more alone, like if I were to be gone tomorrow no one would be really upset. Furthermore my fuck up of a sister just found out scheme is pregnant and the reaction from my mum was sheer glee, never seen her store happy at a piece of news in all my life, and knowing that no matter how hard I try I'll never get that kind of reaction of her. In summary I feel alone and a total failure and I wish the ground would swallow me up. Also I wrote all this on my phone so pardon. In mistakes made.
Hey, you ain't alone. It may not feel like it or be what you can see from your vantage point, but there would be a lot of people who would really miss you if you weren't here tomorrow. Depression, however, can make it seem like the world is ending when these obstacles arise. Maybe it seems like a waste, but you have the things you have. Even while feeling lacking, you can use all your might to make the most of those things and do something that would beat the competition of those who have but don't really do anything with what they have and don't try. Your feelings are understandable and justified, but it's also worth reminding yourself that acceptance comes from within. So what if the whole world and your family doesn't think you are good enough...it's how you feel about yourself that matters. Be proud of yourself and believe in yourself! Easier said than done, but while it is bleak, atm, I believe faith in yourself will allow you to conquer these obstacles leading you to revelation, the unleashing of your potential, and true success. It sounds silly since I don't know you, but I believe in you. But everyone in the world could believe in you and it would mean nothing if you didn't believe in yourself. You may be bleeding on the inside, but you are still strong enough to fight. So do what you can and all you can with what you have, and above all, fight!
Hey dont feel that way, you are not alone. We are all here for you. I know that its hard especially since you put 4 years into something. Im sure if you keep trying you will succeed. I know its hard to see one sibling being favored over yourself, ive been there. I was on the honor roll n my parents wouldnt even crack a smile. My brother would wind up in jail n my father would say thats my boy. I know what its like to be in that dark place but theres always a light at the end of the tunnel. Find one thing that you absolutely love no matter what it is and focus on that. Eventhough you feel like they dont care they do. Theres a saying, "what doesnt kill you will make you stronger" you just have to put your head down and fight through the dark times and make it into the light. if you ever need anything feel free to send me a message.
