Recently, I've made really big strides in coming out. All of my closest friends know, and I'm pretty open about it. (!) This all happened in the course of a couple of weeks, so I'm still not used to being out. This isn't the problem though. I'm feeling like I've been regressing for some reason. :icon_sad: I'm still not completely comfortable with myself yet. If I see anything pertaining to being gay I feel.... ashamed/guilty. Those aren't the right words, but are closest to what I'm feeling. Most of my friends didn't care, so I don't know why I'm still uncomfortable with the idea yet. Compared to when I came out, it's like I'm not satisfied. :dry: It feels like something is missing. :help:
I think that in the moment, when you are coming out to everyone there is a lot of adrenaline and boosts in confidence. That is necessary for coming out. And in those moments, even if you really aren't completely comfortable with it, you have to be and you force yourself to be. And that feels good. But after things start to settle down, some of those insecurities sometimes sneak back. Plus, coming out makes being gay more official and maybe that is sinking in and it might kind of freak you out. I know no one likes to hear it, but I think giving it time is the major solution. You need time to get used to being out, and not just the coming out part, but the living your everyday life as a person who is out. I know I definitely felt very strange and insecure at times after I came out. But you have friends who are cool with it which is wonderful and eventually you will probably be comfortable with it.
Hi there! First off, congratulations on your coming out journey thus far! Well done! Even thought you have come out and have gained received acceptance and received support from your friends, a part of you is still fighting internal homophobia. Internal homophobia can make itself known in various ways, including feeling ashamed or guilty or feeling that maybe this wasn't the right thing to do. When you come out, you are trying to let go of all your fears, and the internal homophobia that built up while you were trying to understand what is happening and accepting yourself. Depending on your upbringing, family values, and your social surroundings, all of that could have contributed to your internal feelings. At the same time, it could very well be that there is a part of you, having tasted what it is like being able to be yourself around your friends, that is starting to become ready to take it further. Coming out can produce mixed emotions and reactions. It can produce more fears while at the same time, producing happiness and the sense of being relieved. But over time you will find that, and as you continue to come out and letting go of your fears, the more comfortable you will be, with being yourself and being out. Keep taking it slow, and when you feel something isn't right or starts to bother you, take a step back and maybe try to explore that a bit. Hope this helps a bit. (*hug*)
Thanks for your responses (*hug*) I'm glad I have people that have already been through it that can give me advice:icon_bigg
