gay, christian, and freaked out.

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
well i was in teens for Christ at my school and i do go to church with my friend sometimes and well your not alone

CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING AND HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

anyways there are many gay Christians and even websites and churches specifically for non straight people . God loves all his children , and jesus died for our sins , the fact is whether gay or straight you will sin , lying to yourself or being yourself , god made us in his image and we are to learn to love ourselves , everyone has problems and we must learn to love ourselves , jesus preached to us love not hate . love yourself . I myself have struggled with loving myself and still am in process , you do matter and the things around you matter ! i hope this helps you some , and if not feel free to post on my wall [ once you become a full member you can private message me but i am not a mod so i can't pm you ]

 

Welcome to EC Lookinside23,

I know that it is hard to admit that you're gay and a Christian at the same time, but you're not alone. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message on my wall and we can talk. I know a few members on here are openly gay Christians and would be glad to help you through it all. (*hug*)

James

 

You are definitely not alone and we have a decent amount of members here who have been able to stay true to themselves while also keeping their faith.

It is a hard process and when you first start questioning everything it can seem like its an impossible thing to do, but its there is a way and you just have to find it. Different religions are also starting to come around to accepting homosexuality. Most religious families also come around so don't think that your family won't be there for you once you decide to come out.

Here is one of my favorite documentaries about it:

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBMbNSyqwkA[/YOUTUBE]

Hang in there (*hug*)

 

There's lots of gay people out there, there's probably other LGBT people in your graduating class--you just don't know them because they're closeted like you are. Trust me, we're everywhere. We've all been where you are and we're made stronger for it. The greater your sadness the greater your capacity for joy. Believe me, and everyone else, when we say that it will absolutely get better with time.

The United Church of Christ as well as Presbyterians and Episcopalians are very inclusive. People who hate in the name of Jesus really aren't Christians, they're pretenders, and the Bible condemns them. The Bible says;

There isn't any reason to fear God, for anything.

Look at how the ignorant homophobes have had to lie and twist the truth to push their agenda. Look at what damage they cause. Their actions and tone isn't very Godly, nor is it very loving. They aren't speaking for God, only themselves. When their words drive children of God to despair and suicide they aren't doing his will.

If you love, you're set. I think that there is so much tragedy in this world that wherever love can be found, God celebrates in that love.

 

Hi there, me! Oh wait, that's not me... well, I'll tell you right now you are not alone in your struggle. I grew up the son of a youth pastor in a church that was adamant that homosexuality was a sin. When I was 12 (around the same time I started being in leadership in children's and youth ministries) I realized I was gay. So I lied to myself for 7 whole years, telling myself that I wasn't gay, or saying "I am, but I'm surrendering it now to God." (Also, I went to two churches at the same time during two of these years, hence the "me" confusion in the first sentence, lol) This never worked, and once I finally got around to not hiding from myself, I had to reconcile my sexuality and faith.

The above posters have done a great job in giving info on how Christianity and LGBT people are very easily inclusive! I'd like to add a few things to their awesome list of resources. First, "For the Bible Tells Me So" is an awesome documentary, one which I absolutely love, and I encourage you to watch it (if you can't get it for some reason, let me know and I'll see what I can do). It's also a great tool to use for helping others change their views on sexuality and Christianity. Second, I recommend the PFLAG pamphlet Faith in Our Families, as this is also helpful. Third, to reconcile these two "parts of who you are," it would be good for you to read the Scriptures yourself and see what they have to say in context.

While I'm no longer a Christian (my loss of faith was not related to my realizing my sexuality), I'd be happy to help you through this. Feel free to post back here or on my profile wall if you want to talk!

 

Hi,
I have been keeping an eye on the EC forums for a while, and your one really related to me. This is my first post on here, but I hope it will be of help to you in part. Sorry for it being a bit long! I have written some of my thoughts on how I have tried to reconcile my sexuality with my faith.
The first thing to remember is that you didn't choose to be gay, any more than straight people chose to be straight. Secondly, the Bible says lots of things that today would not be accepted. Surely the authors of the Bible didn't want to condemn people and drive them away from God, but instead the reverse? As far as I'm concerned I follow the teaching of Jesus and base my beliefs on:
The Greatest Commandment (Matthew)
34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
God is about love and acceptance. If you love God, and you love those around you, you are complying with Gods law, even though some people may disagree. But hey, Christians disagree on lots of things. We all belong to different denominations, do you think God only loves Baptists, and will send Catholics to hell? No.
For me, I had to think of all the possible reasons I thought (in my ignorance) may make me be gay. One by one, I thought them through and ruled them out. I'm not mentally ill, I wasn't abused as a child, I didn't have a bad upbringing, I'm not possessed by a demon, etc. I considered looking at ways to be 'cured', but saw that most people who take this route only learn to suppress their natural desires, and concluded that I don't need a cure, because I'm not ill.
Finally I was left with one option; God made me this way, I don't know why and probably never will, it is no different than someone who was born with eyes yet is blind, etc. Rightly or wrongly, I believe that in general man and woman were designed to go together, although for some reason I was not made to follow this pattern, and neither were you. That's not the way God intended us to be, maybe he wants us to help change the attitudes of people towards LGBT people, Christian or not, or maybe he doesn't. There is more that I do not understand about God than I do, so I have resolved not to let it get to me and make me unhappy - I'm sure that isn't what God wants.
I still haven't fully accepted my sexuality, I'm not out, but I have joined EC in the hope that I will soon be able to start coming out. I still have my doubts and fears, but as time goes on, I am becoming more comfortable with myself. Two pieces of advice/quotes I read were: 1. God made me this way, and I am proud of who I am, why should I try to hide what God intended me to be, and 2. I thought I had the problem, but I came to understand that if people didn't accept me it was them who had the problem, not me.
I still struggle a bit with these but am sure in time I will be as confident as that. I read on your earlier posts that you have started coming out, so you are way ahead of me there! I hope it goes really well for you. I haven't come out to anyone, and a bit like you I fear that I may have to leave my church when they eventually find out. But I also think that many Christians are like I used to be - they don't agree because they have misinformed ideas about LGBT people. And if they won't love me or you for who God made us, they have the problem, not us.

 

the pathway to truth is reason and evidence. i doubt you'll find much of that studying scripture.

but then again, i am an evil, baby eating, demonic atheist...

 

If you do a search, you will find many sites that support Christians who are gay. They address Bible verses used as a basis to feed homophobia and to oppress. It's worth noting that the Bible has been used in the same spirit to promote slavery and to promote racism.

One of the creators of Exodus International is famous for leaving the group and even posts videos on Youtube where he talks about his experience and the importance of reconciling your faith and sexuality if you honestly believe in the Judeo-Christian deity...edit: his name is Michael Bussee.

But there are many groups...Soulforce, Christian Gays, Gay Christian Network, Created Gay, there's a denomination that sprung from LGBT liberation in the church called the Metropolitan Community Church. Dr. Rembert S. Truluck was a gay Christian theologian and author who did a lot of good in his lifetime to combat religious homophobia.

There's not a whole lot of exposure because most of the church shuns these groups to defend their homophobic slant, because many gays and lesbians who do hold Christian faith are only told to fight the good fight and live in the closet, deny their orientation, and let their lives become bogged down by the oppression of the closet going so far as to deny that their sexual orientation is valid or is real, and because many gays and lesbians who are not affiliated with Christianity do not get exposed to the LGBT Christian community enough to be aware themselves.

But I am here telling you that there is a Biblical place in the Body of Christ or whatever you will call it that does affirm gay people to keep the faith and embrace their gayness and to live a good and honorable life free of the tyranny and terrorism of legalism.

It's out there, it's growing, and there is a place for you there as well as here as well as anywhere you find yourself because you are you and there's nothing wrong with you in how you are gay and you being gay and so there's nothing needing to be 'fixed' since nothing's broken.

Sadly, many perfectly normal people who were quite fine were wholly broken by attempts to 'fix' their sexuality through religious based sexuality conversion groups to where marriages were destroyed, straight spouses were hurt in ways beyond imagination, thousands upon thousands of dollars were spent for therapy so-called, and even lives have been lost because more than a few wound up choosing to commit suicide.

 

I just had to respond because ur post was so like me not too long ago, and in some respects still is my story... I take it your father is active in your church (you said he's in a leadership role)? My dad is a church elder and strong Christian. I was brought up in that same church and am just now realizing I can't be there much longer. I didn't come out to my parents till after I graduated high school. I totally get what you say about how the environment in which you live is too conservative... pretty much the same here, at least from my vantage point.

And I've faced the struggle of reconciling my Christian beliefs with my being gay. It's hard. And the multitude of voices out there (mostly "Christians" who claim to know what God wants for everyone on the planet) who degrade you make it harder, I know. I listened to those voices for years and years. I can't say that you should necessarily come out to your church or everyone in the community... chances are you're not all that close to most people in your church, so, ask yourself, what's the point in telling them? You owe them nothing. There are gay Christians. You can be a Christian and be gay.

For me, I've realized the better thing (again, this is for me) to do is to begin removing myself from that church and some social networks that I've been a part of... I have no plans to hurt anyone, but I know it's more important I don't hurt myself. Your own life is out there, and you're in a great place (I PROMISE you) as you're off to college soon. Things do get better, I promise.

I can't speak a whole lot on the religion thing, as everyone goes through different stages/beliefs/ etc, but I'm definitely willing to talk if you need to. I wish someone had been there for me several years ago when I started this journey.

 

The documentary TheEnded posted looked really good. I might even check it out myself.

You might also want to watch this film if you havent done so already. It seems to be the most popular film with gays online anyways:

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZLWmFEl9e8[/YOUTUBE]