Am Asexual And Aromantic And Best Friend Doesn't Understand

Well i would just give it some time for him to understand. and Not to be rude. but. does it really matter if he ever understands it or not?

 

Im sorry but i dont know what both asexual and aromantic means so please explain

 

Well, it's basically not being interested in sex, and not feeling the need to pursue love or romance. Which can still vary between just not being interested and actually being turned off by the idea.

Which is apparently, for some people, a hard concept to wrap their minds on. I personally have no problem understanding (then again, some people react in hooror at my distaste for being hugged or touched in any way), but for some people the need to be with someone either romantically or sexually (or both) is so much part of who they are, that they can't understand how people without a partner can ever feel complete.
I'm guessing this friend is like that.

As for how to get him to understand: I don't see a miracle solution here. Usually people understand that someone is gay or lesbian when they have boyfriends or girlfriends, or at least openly voice their desire for one.
You can't prove a negative, though, so however long you remain single, he can still keep imagining that you just haven't met the right one yet.

So I guess the best way is to just ask him to take it on faith that such a thing exists and stop trying to convince you that you really should turn sexual or romantic. Hopefully, with time and seeing that you really like the way you are, he'll come around!

 

@LadyLaveau - If he doesn't understand, just give him time. Since he likely doesn't have experience or understanding with asexuality it'll take time for him to adjust his view of the world. Hang in there, you'll be fine!

@thedylangoelz - English lesson time, woo! So we have the suffixes "-sexual" and "-romantic." Since the prefix "hetero-" means "opposite," being heterosexual means "sexually attracted to the opposite sex." The prefix "homo-" means "same," so being homoromantic means "romantically attracted to the same sex." So if we use the prefix "a-," meaning "absence of," with the suffixes "-sexual" and "-romantic," they become asexual and aromantic, or "not sexually attracted or romantically attracted to anyone."

Sorry if that came across as talking down, but I tend to go into teaching mode when I like my subject. :lol:

 

When we get into asexuality, romantic attraction vs. sexual attraction or the lack thereof, it's hard for a lot of people to initially wrap their minds around because it's just not something they've grown up with being taught. When we use terms like hetero, bi, or homosexual, we tend to use the terms to imply attractions of all sorts towards particular sexes, but in truth, most people experience different levels of attraction of different kinds (i.e. I experience romantic attraction and emotional attraction to a much higher degree than I experience sexual attraction).

Of course, if he doesn't get it in full, hopefully he can get and accept that you, by your nature, are not one to be interested in having sex nor having romantic relationships.

The key is to accept yourself for who you are and to keep communicating that in whatever way you can. Eventually the concept will spread and gradually understanding of the concept will spread (after sorting through tons of misinformation) and hopefully acceptance will come of it without repeating the same cycle of bigotry that keeps repeating (even amongst the Queer community, especially towards asexuals, which is really sad in my book due to the level of hypocrisy).

 

thank you guys for explaining it but i looked it up right after i posted that but thank you anyway for your time and as for your problem I would tell him just like mentioned above to take your decisions with faith and let your life be yours