Would in be unfair to my father to tell him I like girls right before I get out of the car in the morning? He keeps going on about how I need to "cut the charade and just tell him I have a boyfriend. It wont be that big of a deal" Its getting quite frustrating. I KNOW that when I tell him I like girls its going to be a HUGE deal and I dont want to deal with it right away. Tomorrow, I am participating in our schools graduation and then going to my friends party so I wont be home until late. Though I am thinking this may be a bit on the lame side.
Hi there! If you know that it is going to be a HUGE deal, it might not be such a good idea to tell him right after getting out of the car. If you don't want to 'deal' with it right away, and fear that your dad will need a bit of time to come around to it, then maybe writing him a letter or coming out to him at some other time might be better. That said, when you do come out to him, you do kinda have to 'deal' with it right away. From what you have said, it is probably not going to be "btw, I like girls, see you later" kinda of a deal. In order for your dad to understand you and be able to process it and perhaps start coming around to it sooner rather than later, it would be good if you would take the time to sit down with him. Sitting down with him, gives also him the chance to listen to you.
I agree with Mirko that it's not the best idea to come out after getting out of the car if it's going to be a huge deal. I tried that (although I was still in the car with my mother) and we ended up talking for 20 minutes before I left the car and went inside my friend's house for my meetup. I also think it's a great idea to write a letter to your Dad! What I'm intending to do is write a letter to him, give it to him as I leave to spend the night somewhere (explaining in the letter that I'm staying out of the house in order to make it easier for him to figure out how he feels about my sexuality), and directing him to some of the PFLAG pamphlets. I think this'll take care of the possibility of him saying something he'll regret, and it'll also allow him to calm down or prepare questions for when I get home the next morning. I haven't done this yet, but if I do this before you're out, I'll post to your wall (or here) to let you know how it goes! Either way, good luck! Coming out to parents who won't be instantly accepting is hard (heck, coming out to accepting parents is hard...), but you can do it!
Definitely not right as you get out of the car. That sends the message that you don't take him seriously and will create serious additional drama. A letter's a good idea, but the best way is to find a time when you are willing to talk about it, imo.
To expand on this, I think it also sends the message that you're just saying something to get him off your back and he might think you're just joking to get him to shut up. If it's going to be a huge deal it's probably an inopportune moment to do it as you're exiting the car. And while a lot of people here can tell you there's never a perfect time to do it, it might be beneficial to you if you set aside a little more time to handle it.
