This is not for me, but a friend of mine. He just recently came out, and is already dating someone. Everyone's been super accepting of him, except for his dad. What sucks is that his mom and dad are separated and he's been living with his dad the whole time, because he favors his dad over his mom. Now, all his dad does is insult him saying things like "you're an embarrassment" and "I wouldn't care if you died" and makes him really upset to where as his friend's mom comes in and lets him stay over their house. Like I said, it's only his dad. His mom is really being supportive, but T (is what we'll call him) doesn't really like her because of her behavior towards his dad. His little brothers are even taking a stand against their dad to help T, but their dad won't care, he refuses to accept it. I feel in an awkward position, because he's my best friend, and I want to be there for him, but I don't want to get involved in the family drama. Any resources I could suggest to my friend for this problem?
Not sure what to suggest. I'm sure a psychiatrist could leap in here and explain that he's still favoring his father because he's trying to "win his love and acceptance" or some such, but I don't have the training to do anything other than speculate rather randomly as to what's going on. He seems to be getting support from a bunch of directions, so do keep that up. You might suggest he check out PFLAG's website to see if he gets some help there. Lex
well at the very least, keep doing what you are doing and that is being there for him, maybe let him stay at yours until his dad calms down? I don't know
^Only problem with the above is that my mother knows I like guys and wouldn't let him spend the night cause she thinks we'll do bad things. Anyways, I think he likes his dad more because his mom was a little crazy and cheated on their dad like 3 times. I'll suggest him to something from PFLAG I guess
ok fair enough, just a suggestion but your in a better position than any of us to judge the situation, wish him luck
I don't want to put myself in the middle of this, though. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to help without getting in the middle though, besides just being there after thee fighting's over
Just wanted to thrown in a second suggestion for PFLAG stuff. While the Dad may not have any inclination to support his son, if your friend can print off/get a hold of a PFLAG pamphlet and leave it somewhere for his Dad (and then get out of the house while Dad reads it), it could change his opinion. As far as getting involved, if you want to stay out of the middle of it the only thing you can really do is be there for your friend after the situation(s) is(are) over. I know you said that your Mom wouldn't let you have him over, but if you explain the situation she might allow it. I hope it works out, but I personally can't add anything more than that. Be supportive, and let us know what happens.
