The drugs? or me?

my advice is, stay away from her, you can't help her, she can only help herself.

 

It's very difficult to change yourself.. it's basically impossible to change other people. Maybe abandoning her isn't good.. but please don't think you're being selfish by doing so... please don't.

 

Dealing with addicts on a daily bases at work, I would recommend trying to convince her any way possible to get some treatment. There are many ways, talk to the person, let them know you will have to spend less time with them because their bad decisions are starting to affect you, and you can not allow that to happen. You could have an intervention, bring family members to help, etc. I have even had friends of someone call our dispatch to let us know that their friend has drugs on them, so we can go pick them up, and under Florida law, if a family member does this, we will not take you to jail, but a mandatory 72 drug clinic to make you get help, and a good number of the people we bring in, will continue to stay voluntarily after the 72 hours. There are a verity of options, you just need to call around in your area.

Or, you could not try and have her seek help, but I can tell you it will only continue to get worse over time. Some drugs only take a matter of months to destroy your organs.

Good luck.

 

my mom married my dad as a clean drug addict of 11 years. by the time i was 4yrs he started drugs again. they just divorce over him not stopping the drugs a year ago. last summer he went clean. he's still an asshole as much as he was on the drugs as off.

 

Ebra. Another possible solution is Al-Anon.It's for people who are attracted to addicts.It's a chance to look at yourself.It's a very successful program that has helped 1,000's of people in your situation.Edmonton phone #780-433-1818.Give at a try!It can help.

 

That is great advice panda!

 

Read my quote (signature). As others have said, only she can fix herself. You can't change her in anyway and by staying with her your only going to hurt yourself. Now i'm not saying abandon her completely but you should keep a distance from her while letting her know that you are there for her whever she needs it. And you most definately need to convince her into treatment. The problem isn't the addiction, it's that she's an addict. She needs to learn to change her whole lifestyle and that can't be done by herself or with your help. She needs professional help.

Advice from an recovering addict.

Goodluck!! Msg me if anything xox

 

i used to be a drug addict i did drugs heavily for 5 years and the biggest problem is that most drug addicts lie to themselves even more than they lie to those around them, i don't know if this will help you but when people told me they would stay with me and not give up as long as it takes it really stuck a knife in my heart and made me realize how much i was putting other people through

 

The problem as I see it is you know what you SHOULD do, because EVERYONE has told you here and probably in your life outside EC and you know what you CAN do and these are two very different things.

I don't have a solution for you because there isn't one, you are in total conflict head/heart. All I can say is that for your emotional and psychological health you HAVE to convince yourself that the lies, the manipulation, the cheating, stealing etc are ALL the drugs and not personal. If you manage to do this you will be able to stay close to your friend and try to help her through her worst moments.

I think Panda's advice is excellent, you will meet other people who love addicts, what they go through and a means of arming yourself against the worst of the excesses. You will certainly find support and feel less lonely. I am sure that everyone around you is telling you to let this person go, but you know deep within you this isn't possible :icon_sad: so surround yourself with people who can fully understand, support you and help you find an acceptable solution.

We don't necessarily choose who we love any more than our sexuality, these things sometimes just happen. I would say, as far as possible go with your heart but listen to your head and take Panda's advice, its all a question of compromise and balance.

I wish you all the best.

 

that is probably the best quote ever

 

Once an addict always an addict - that's true. An addict is never healed. However, they can be in recovery. An addict that has recognized that they have a problem and are actively working on getting better are sometimes the most honest people you'll meet!

But it's true that they need to be in recovery, and they'll only be in recovery if they recognized they have a problem and want to do something about it for themselves. An addict needs to hit 'rock bottom' often before they clue in to the fact that their life has become unmanageable. Losing a good friend like yourself might be the rock bottom that will jolt them into doing something about it. And once they are in recovery, they'll need your help and support more than ever.

Good luck.

 

I totally Agree Someone should Put that out into the world

Becky May i have permission to Use that

 

You're welcome. From time to time there are posts and I literally FEEL what the person is saying, I am that person. I could no more abandon someone I love, whatever their problems than drive a knife into their hearts... I just never could.

So I can see entirely your dilema, I feel your dilema which is why I suggested you try to get help and support for yourself so that you will be strong enough to help your friend.

Jim's advice on tough love is probably right, but that doesn't meant to say that you (the person that you are) could actually put it into practice. So, if that is the case what is the next best solution... and so on and so forth just until you come across something that suits both your head and your heart.

I know you are not there yet but addicts can turn their lives around... many do, so don't despair even through the dark and difficult times, there is always hope.