I attract a lot of older men and it's a little weird for me

Not to burst your bubble, but it's the fact that you're 18 that's drawing older men to you, and probably not much else. Every gay male above the age of 15 (and, sadly, many below) that I've spoken to has been hit on, sometimes really aggressively, by guys in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond. Many have told me that certain sites have become unusable for them simply because every time they log on, they get hit on by a million older guys.

The "age is just a number" choir will no doubt show up soon to talk about why there's nothing wrong with it, but here's why I don't agree with them:

First, think about it: You're 18. You're just barely an adult, finding yourself. What is an emotionally healthy person 25 or 30 or 40 or 50 going to see in a relationship with someone 18? The relationship is going to be inherently imbalanced; the older person will have more money, more life experience, more relationship experience... and, being cynical, will have carefully refined his ability to manipulate you and tell you exactly what you want to hear to make you fall in love with him.

These guys, regardless with what they're telling you, aren't in love with *you* in particular; they are in love with someone who is 18. (A lot of them would be in love with someone 14 or 15 if that was legal, and many of them will have hooked up with people that young, though few will admit it. There's another thread on the "new posts" page of EC right now talking specifically about that.) The creepy ones just haven't learned how to manipulate young people. The "cool" ones have.

I don't mean to be harsh, but really... you're 18, and if you want an emotionally healthy relationship, you should be with someone around your age (+/- 2 or 3 years). It will be a more balanced relationship, it will be emotionally healthier, and it's far less likely that you'll get exploited, emotionally or physically.

I can tell you horror stories if you want, but... I think it's safe to say you'll be much, much happier in the long run if you put your energy into finding someone your own age.

 

No, based on the people I've talked to, it's only about 99% of the time

Just be very, very careful, because with the good ones, the red flags will be really hard to spot. No offense, but the whole reason creepers succeed is because 18 year olds (or 15 year olds, or 21 year olds) think they have it more on the ball than they actually do.

Help and advice is generally the LAST thing you want to seek from someone seeking you out on a dating site. That's what places like EC are for

 

Hi there! I agree with what has been said above by others. Be careful when you approach them or talk with them. I am not saying that older guys are creepers but what I am saying is that there are older guys who will go after younger guys, such as yourself, because they feel that younger guys can be 'easily convinced'.

I think it is fine if you are drawn to older guys. We all have our own preferences. That said, you kinda want to be careful because if you do hit it off with someone who is older the power balance and influence in that relationship can be very one sided, where the older partner dominates the relationship, and only his needs are met. You might want to have an age difference that is not too large.

I agree with Chip though, that the last thing you want to be asking someone on a dating site is about advice or asking for help.

 

I absolutely, positively, guarantee you that they want in your pants. And I absolutely, positively, guarantee that they are not emotionally healthy if they want to be with someone 13 to 18 years younger than they are. So everything said above still applies.

But... after all that everyone's said, if that's what you want... go for it.