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How Does One Follow His Dreams...When His Dreams Are Impossible?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Revan, Jun 14, 2011.

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  1. Revan

    Revan
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    These days, with my undergrad being nearly finished, I'm becoming more and more anxiety ridden about what I'm doing after. My mother is looking at the practical aspects, Public Relations, etc....but thing is...that's not what I love but the reason why I'm not just like, I should go for that, is because my dream the thing that brings me endless joy, is probably one of the MOST unattainable careers there is: Acting. I know though how impossible it can be....but the thing is....the idea of ANYTHING else, when I know it's not necessarily me, well how can I do something I know I won't enjoy? I'm just so frustrated because pretty much everything I enjoy, that I would love (yes I know I just said it's acting but there are others that make me similarly happy though not at the same level) to be a part of: broadcasting, writing, dancing, singing. They're all the most impossible things to get into....I know no one will necessarily be able to give me the right answer or what I want to hear, but I'd still like to hear what people think I should do.

    Because I literally hear from several of my friends how much they enjoy what they're doing. I mean I'm a Psych major but don't enjoy it while one of my friends last night was saying how much she loves all her Psych courses and how much she enjoys it. And I'm just like..I want that. I want to be in school and enjoying it. Yeah I'm going to finish my BA in Psychology so at least I have a University diploma, but I know I'm going to continue in school to continue with more education so I'm more employable than say those with just BAs (no offense to those with only BAs but with the way the world is going, a BA seems to almost be the equivalent of a high school diploma now, a Master's the equiv of a BA and a Doctorate the equiv of a Master's). But the thing is, I don't want to continue doing things that I just get bored from...so basically what do I do? Or just what are your thoughts about my situation.
     
    #1 Revan, Jun 14, 2011
  2. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! You know, sometimes we can find ways to have different things in our lives without having to sacrifice one or the other. Take for example your love for acting. Yes, acting, as a career, is perhaps unattainable, but that doesn't mean that you have to give up on it entirely. I would actually encourage you, to look into ways as to how you can foster your love and desire for acting, even if it means doing it on a voluntary basis, or just for fun on the weekends or during the evenings.

    You know there are other hings that you enjoy doing, such as broadcasting, writing, dancing, and singing. Okay. So if you look at that list, there are a couple of possible careers in which you could get into, for example: broadcasting and writing. So you already know that choosing broadcasting will require you to get a degree in journalism or in some related field. With writing it really depends on for what kind of publication you want to work for, or if you want to work on the editing/publishing side of things. Something to think about. Also, think about what kind of writing interests you. That will give you further ideas as to what you could be doing or it could also (perhaps) awaken some more interests that still lie dormant.

    If you know you are going to, and want to, continue education, think about how you could combine some of your interests and maybe try finding a MA program that would allow you to build a foundation for the things that interest you and would also give you possible choices for different career fields.

    Of course your education doesn't has to define your career, however, given today's market, you want to make sure that your degree and educational experiences are relevant or related for the career that you want to go into, in particular at the beginning when you try to get yourself established in the labour market.

    I think it would be worthwhile your time to think about (besides acting), what is it that I want to do? What is it that I can see myself doing? Once you have figured that out, then think about which further educational program would allow you to pursue what you want to pursue.

    Hope this helps a bit.
     
    #2 Mirko, Jun 14, 2011
  3. Revan

    Revan
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    That's the thing though. While I do like writing, making speeches (I excelled in both types of courses that I took for electives in university), and working on television, my love for being on stage or being in front of a camera in a way trumps it all. I don't want to come off strictly rigid, I am very flexible, and I'm not against starting behind the camera and moving in front like I've been doing with Rogers TV in my city, (I like getting an aspect from all sides of something not just acting), the fact is, when I'm acting....I put my whole being into it. And it seems to be the only thing I truly TRULY love. But I mean same time, I do see your point, it's just the other problem is, because I want to be in that industry, there's a lot of factors to consider. Same time though, I'm a no lose scenario, when I don't get something I don't let it put me down, I push through it and keep trying until it's to the point where they have to hire me because they got so sick of seeing me lol. Basically in some manner, that's something that even with the thousands of actors in California you see or in Toronto, you're not going to see that. So many do eventually give up from constant rejection, but me? I don't believe in a no win scenario. Sorry I totally know I'm going around in circles, but yeah I just am not sure where to look, but thanks none the less Mirko for some really good advice :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Revan, Jun 14, 2011
  4. Mirko

    Mirko
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    While reading your response, a few things came to mind.

    You mentioned a couple of important things. It is good that you have identified that you are not rigid and are flexible. This will allow you to consider other options and perhaps as to how you could achieve your goals through the back door, as it were.

    From what you have written it sounds like that you have already a couple of connections and experiences that you could use to your advantage. You could use these connections and experiences to try to get some volunteer opportunities with different TV/broadcasting stations. In fact, one of the (now retired) radio personalities in Windsor, Ontario started his career in broadcasting through volunteering with one of the local radio stations. He showed up often enough for someone to notice him.

    Also, maybe try doing a few informational interviews. Just in case if you haven't heard about informational interviews yet, they are usually around 15 minutes long, during which time you get the chance to ask a representative (which could be the hr person, or a head of a unit/department) questions about your career field, the company, and as to how you can get into that field. For example, some of the questions you could be asking are:
    • How do I go about in entering my career field.
    • What are some of the things I need and should know?
    • Would you mind sharing your own experiences?
    • In your experience, could getting a degree in .... help in entering my career field, or would it hinder it?
    etc....

    That information will give you some further context for your own goals, passions and could perhaps give you a greater perspective on your experiences thus far as well.

    If you decide to set up one up, I would suggest to e-mail or talk to someone with whom you already have a connection and ask them for a brief meeting at their convenience. You can also try to contact someone that you don't know, which might actually be a bit better. I would suggest that you do some of them with different say for example TV stations in London, or perhaps even Toronto. Informational interviews, while not giving you a job, help you in building a network of contacts and relationships. Start building these contacts and relationships.

    Also, it would allow you to highlight some of your experiences gained thus far, on which basis you could get some further invaluable feedback.

    A note of caution though and although it might be stating the obvious, it is important that you stay realistic about your chances throughout. But I think if this is your true passion and love, give it a try. If you end up doing something related, say something behind the camera, that in itself is an achievement.
     
    #4 Mirko, Jun 14, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2011
  5. thomasJ722

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    If a person asks you what you love doing...the first thing thaty comes to your mind is the exact thing that you should pursue. Do not compromise yourself for money or just plain security.

    Possible Steps to get started on your life with the things that you love:
    1. Be a part of your local theatre (or not local) and do what you love: ACT, DANCE, SING!!!
    2. Make your own blog at a blogging website and do what you love: WRITE!!!
    3. Buy a video camera, pick an interesting, record yourself talking about it, put the video on Youtube,and do what you love: BROADCAST yourself!!!
    4. Realize what you truly love to do, then do what you love: BE YOURSELF!!!!

    (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)
     
    #5 thomasJ722, Jun 14, 2011
  6. Revan

    Revan
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    Acting. Again the thing is...I dream about being on TV and movies, about being on stage. My boyfriend wants me to do it...but my parents want me to be realistic. I mean it's great having someone who is saying DO IT but I mean I dunno I suppose one thing that's making me hesitate and this isn't anything against my boyfriend, but with him also doing something that's tough to break into professionally, photography, I suppose I'm just worried that down the road I won't have that two story house with the white picket fence and swimming pool in the backyard like what I had growing up (minus the fence lol). I've lived in such security, with money kinda at the ready and not all going into like rent and food, but also leisure and such, that perhaps the thought of me losing security is perhaps what's frightening me?
     
    #6 Revan, Jun 14, 2011
  7. Mirko

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    Staying realistic is important, right? No matter which career field you enter, or pursuing the educational path that you want to pursue. Getting more information and educating yourself about your options and what is feasible, will help you to stay realistic. It will also help you to make an informed decision.

    Perhaps there is an element of fear and losing that security that you had thus far. However, you can also use that to your advantage by asking yourself: how do I not lose that security? How can I ensure to have that security or have enough of an income so that I can support myself?

    You have options and from the sounds of it, you already have some experiences that should allow you to start creating a path that could potentially open some doors in the short and perhaps even long term and help you in making a decision that you feel is right for you.
     
    #7 Mirko, Jun 14, 2011
  8. IanGallagher

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    I'm a screenwriter interning at a top film studio where the VP and execs have all singled me out as being talented. They're excited about the scripts I work on. The VP has shown interest in my latest script. Additionally my friend and I know a writer of a top studio blockbuster film who mentors us. My friend and I are both from small town suburbia and wound up in Hollywood. Not going to come instantly. Many successful writers don't hit their stride till they're at least 25, and in many cases 27. I'm only 23. All the right tracks though are in place.

    Basically my point is this: who's to say it's impossible?

    Keep the dream alive. Keep fighting. And who knows what tomorrow will bring. There's even famous actors today who weren't discovered until mid-life. Forgot who exactly, but it was someone big. And had they given up? They wouldn't be there today.
     
    #8 IanGallagher, Jun 15, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2011
  9. Revan

    Revan
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    You know Ian, you could be my way of networking :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Just saying hehe. But yeah I know, it's difficult to figure out. Though I dunno if it's just me but, do you notice that the younger posters in this forum are all "go for it" but the older are saying be careful? No offense meant though Mirko, I'm just noticing that Ian and thomas who are close to my age are on one side, while you are kinda more on the other side. It's somewhat amusing. Again no offense meant.
     
    #9 Revan, Jun 15, 2011
  10. Zontar

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    I was faced with a similar situation, and still kinda am. When I was younger, there was one dream I always had...be the next Bill Gates. Invent something so innovative and useful for the whole world, and build a company around it, and pretty much never have to worry about money or accomplishment again. Tall order, much more than yours I'd say.

    So then, I started realizing that while I do write out some good ideas, my skills are far from anything I would need to accomplish this task. I can't even write a simple game engine, much less code around some of my ideas. So, I take it that means I'll never really get out what I was expecting in life, right?

    Well, yes and no. See, being the next Bill Gates would take much more than just following A, B, and C out of some Entrepreneur's User Guide. It takes the proper timing, proper connections...pretty much an element of luck in all that. If I want to be that accomplished, that's probably going to be out of the question when you consider what doesn't lie within my influence.

    But let's take it a step down. What was I looking for by aiming to imitate the most accomplished of entrepreneurs? Was it the fame? The money? Just the conception of putting my ideas into reality? I think it's that last one more than anything. Fame and money come secondary to what you choose to pursue in life; primarily pursuing it is a recipe for disappointment.

    So, while we hear about the big-shots in the tech industry, what about the little guys that still enjoy what they do, are successful at it, and still make a damn good dollar doing so? Do you know the names of the creators of Linkedin? Or how about the creators of Dropbox? Perhaps not...but they invented something, brought it to market with success, and made a good chunk of change doing so. They didn't achieve the same glamour of, say, Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook...but do you really need that absoleute highest level of achievement to say you got somewhere?

    So, one day I sat down and admitted to myself; I don't want to be rich or famous so much as I just want to invent. Who cares if I never really get anywhere big with it? Doesn't mean I can't moonlight as a serial entrepreneur while working a day job, does it? I signed up for a major in computer science at university to build my skills...we'll see where that goes!

    Let's apply this to your situation. You can pursue acting. You can be a good actor. But there's some variables you can't control. Are you gonna be the next Leonardo DiCaprio or Brad Pitt? I'll tell you right now that you won't. But do you know how many people act that we don't hear too much about? Factor those people in. They're not as accomplished as these A-list actors, but they do what they want to do, and they make a good sum doing so, and even a name for themselves.

    So sit down and ask yourself what you're looking for. Let's say you end up in a couple B-movies or TV show episodes. Would that satisfy you as much as being an A-list actor? If not, you may need to remind yourself what comes primary to success and what comes secondary. The money and fame always come secondary. Put what you want to do above all else.
     
    #10 Zontar, Jun 15, 2011
  11. Mirko

    Mirko
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    None taken! :slight_smile: My experiences, and especially what I have learned from my current job, are quite different from the other posters. I do encourage you to follow what you feel is right for you and what you want to do. It is your life and you are the only one who is going to be living it.

    My only caution would be to moderate your enthusiasm and your dreams so that in case it doesn't work out, you still can go back and enjoy doing something that might be related. This is the reason why I have suggested that you try to gather as much as information as you can.

    But in the end it is really up to you what you want to do and how you want to go about in achieving your goals.
     
    #11 Mirko, Jun 15, 2011
  12. Revan

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    Well I like to think of it in this way sometimes too. Say I were to win the lottery, what would that mean? Quite simply, I could live happily money wise and just act for the hell of it. So I suppose what I'm getting at is, to me it's the thrill of acting. Yes money and fame is nice, and it can help me get a nice life if I make it big, but really I just want to be in movies and tv or on stage to entertain people. It's why it's freaking called the entertainment industry after all. But there is sorta another reason I perhaps do slightly want the fame, so I can bring autism out of the shadows. I have autism, and while yes it's nowhere near as severe as some kids, to become part of the entertainment industry would also give me that outlet to advocate for autism, and to show that people with autism really can do anything. Because I think that's just as important. I have already somewhat started that piece by doing a piece with MTV on autism, and in September they wish to do a bigger piece about autism with me. But I'm just saying I want to act for acting sakes, but I kind of want to be able to get up there so I can use the being known part, to advocate for autism.
     
    #12 Revan, Jun 15, 2011
  13. Zontar

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    Mr. Bookman from that one Seinfeld episode comes to mind (forgot his name)...he was an english teacher until he was like 40 or so when he decided to pursue acting.
     
    #13 Zontar, Jun 15, 2011
  14. Tracy Lord

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    Wow, Revan, you're me 18 years ago! I understand *exactly* what you're going through. So what would I have done differently? I'm not sure, exactly. What I can tell you is that in the economy we're in and are going to be in for some time (though you have it a bit better in Canada; you guys actually realized that banks shouldn't be casinos...), no one really has the security you're thinking about.

    In the past twenty years, I've had two careers nuked by financial meltdowns (I was in banking). I'm now working on changing careers.

    What I can tell you is that money isn't everything. Yeah, being poor sucks, but it also sucks to hate your job.

    If I had it to do over again, I guess I would have finished my bachelor's degree sooner and went right on to get a graduate degree.

    In the end, though, if you have love but a crappy career, that's ok. I know lots of rich, miserable people.
     
    #14 Tracy Lord, Jun 15, 2011
  15. Revan

    Revan
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    Well I do have perhaps one thing many of those struggling actors in California, Toronto, etc perhaps don't all have. I will have at least a Bachelor's Degree, many actors graduated high school and just headed for Hollywood, but when it doesn't work out, what do they have to fall back on? At least I know that I do have something somewhat to fall back on.
     
    #15 Revan, Jun 15, 2011
  16. malachite

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    dreams are the fuel that keep you going, but you need to have a plan to get there.

    And be aware that dreams change and sometimes you end up in a place you didn't intend to go.
     
    #16 malachite, Jun 15, 2011
  17. Revan

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    Err....I've wanted to be an actor since pretty much when I could think about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I'd say my dream isn't changing anytime soon.
     
    #17 Revan, Jun 15, 2011
  18. Mr.Pushover

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    You might not make it big with acting, but you know that there are a bunch of lower level plays that go on pretty much everywhere. You just have to look into it
     
    #18 Mr.Pushover, Jun 15, 2011
  19. Revan

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    Yes I understand that but...what else am I suppose to do? I'm not even joking, with my interests, there aren't really a lot of things that are profitable. And I tell you now, I am NOT going into a job where I work for some big wig and hate my job. There's a lot of things I'll do, but I will not allow myself to be in a career that I hate.
     
    #19 Revan, Jun 15, 2011
  20. IanGallagher

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    Youth are said to be more optimistic, but also - I'm within the industry, so I've seen it at play. It's difficult, for sure. But, it's possible because I'm at a place where I used to think was impossible. A VP and top screenwriter want to see my buddy and I succeed, like legitimately they have our backs. And this is a big studio, so big - I won't name it studio. It's tough to get there. But, possible? Def. I'm here.

    Don't know what I can do really since I'm behind the camera rather than in the acting realm of things.
     
    #20 IanGallagher, Jun 15, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2011
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