So I have a bit of a relationship question I've been in a relationship for almost a year and half. We have a loving, healthy, and stable relationship. Although we both tend to be a bit on the jealous side, but nothing that ever gets out of control, nevertheless I'm trying to figure out how to be less jealous. This is the longest relationship for both of us (we're both 20). This is our second summer apart due to school breaks. Last year we talked or skyped almost every night and we texted throughout the day. My concern comes with this summer. We've only been on break for about two weeks and we have not been talking much aside from texts. I have a job that requires me to be up early, so I go to bed early. She is living with a couple apartment-mates for the summer and says she's trying to bond with them. This is 100% completely okay and I encourage it. Their bonding consists of drinking and late night Taco Bell runs, which means she's usually out late. Lately I've taken to leaving her voice messages letting her know that I love her, just so she can hear it instead of reading it off a text. It just gets me down that we can't seem to find a time to talk. More and more it feels like she's not even trying. Telling her this would set her off and make me seem needy. I also get concerned when they're drinking. There have been a few incidents in the past where she has made out with others while drunk. After each one we talk and work things out, but I guess I never really feel completely comfortable. For some couples this wouldn't be a big deal but like I said, we both have our jealous sides. I've been working for a long time at feeling more comfortable with her drinking without me but it's not really working. It's not that I don't trust her, I just don't trust drunk her. Saying that makes me feel horrible though. I guess this was more of a thought organizer for me, but I'm interested if anyone has any thoughts? These things are really bogging down my mind. Thanks
So, she's the jealous type, but she feels free to mack on everyone in sight when she's drunk :eusa_doh: To quote Al Pacino in one of my favorite movies: the worst vice is advice. So, I'm not gonna tell you to drop her like the hot playa-potata she is. No, I'm not going to tell you that at all :icon_wink But, seriously, what does her behavior tell you about how much she respects you and your relationship? It'd be one thing if she was just a flirty person, but actually making out with other people? That's just wrong.
This right here is a problem. You can't complain about a legitimate problem you your girlfriend. And this is a minor problem, what's going to happen when there's a major one? Because if you can't talk about the little problems it's going to be even harder to talk about the big ones. Needy isn't wanting to speak to someone, needy is calling her every day, constantly texting her, doing anything you can to get attention. No, you do not work things out. If you worked things out this wouldn't be repeatedly happening. Each time she apologizes and you accept her apology and believe her promise that it won't happen again. This is a classic cycle for cheaters, abusers, and general assholes and their non-asshole partners. As for what you should do, I have no advice. But think about what I've said.
>This is a classic cycle for cheaters, abusers, and general assholes and their non-asshole partners. What he said.
