I recently accepted myself as being bisexual. I guess I always thought I was different somehow because i would be interested in not only girls, but especially guys. My parents and whole family are Mexican and Catholic, so I grew up hearing it was wrong and went against not just my religion but also my culture. During the past two years as I was nearing the end of HS i began to accept that I was at least bisexual, but couldn't work up the courage to tell anyone so I was pretty much in the closet for that time and havent yet had a relationship with a guy. I went off to university in Austin and was surprised to find a much more accepting community. A couple months ago I finally came out to my closest friend from HS and was surprised at how well he took it. He assured me we were still friends and that nothing was wrong with me. I feel way better having at least one friend know. The big obstacle I still have is coming out to my parents. Thats part of the reason I havent told more friends yet, Im afraid they'll find out. Being hispanic and Catholic certainly doesn't make it easy. Funny enough, my dad seems to be the one that is more open minded and my mom the more conservative one. I'm just not sure how they will react. I've heard stories of parents throwing out their kids, but I doubt they will go that extreme. I definitely think they'll be upset, I just hope they dont try to get me out of college. So, any advice?
my ex is mexican, we were together for a little over a year, and he said his mom kinda flipped out and told him he was going to hell, but eventually she chilled, and him and his dad don't really talk about it. i think the important thing though, is that everyone is going to have a different experience, most people come out to friends first so they have a good support system for when they come out to their family, best of luck.
First of, welcome to EC! Its really great that you have already started coming out to yourself which is the hardest coming out of them all. I'm also hispanic and from a catholic family so I can totally understand why you are nervous about telling your parents. It isn't easy at all, specially because of all the machismo, but it also isn't a lost cause. I'll tell you my story just to give you an example that it can work out When I first came out to my parents my house pretty much became a living hell. They didn't kick me out or anything, but my mom cried every night and my dad would just ignore the whole thing and used to say that it was all a phase. It was all ridiculously hard, but thankfully all the none sense started to calm down about a month or so after I came out. My mom started seeing a psychologist and my dad started to come around to it on his own. After about 3 months or so my dad was COMPLETELY supporting me and my mom at least stopped using the bible against me. Right now, after 2 years of me being out to them, they have completely come around and are now okay with it 100%. They have met all of my boyfriends and my dad has even taken me to pride parades. It really is a 180 turn Also, my cousin, who also turned out to be gay, came out to her family not too long ago. My uncle who used to say he would kill any homosexual he knew turned out to be really okay with it and took him less than a month to be okay with both my cousin and me. Last weekend my cousin even had her girlfriend over for a family bbq. We are all still shocked at how well he took it all haha I could probably go on and on about similar stories, but the point I'm trying to make is that, while it is hard, it is definitely possible. Give your parents a chance and they might just surprise you If you are up for it, and I understand how it can be scary, one thing that can help to make things a lot easier is to get a support system before you take on your family. Maybe tell a couple more of your trusted friends and that way you can build up the courage to start telling your parents in the future. Its not necessary, but it can definitely help.
I'm in a similar circumstance. My parents are not very religious, but they are Mexican (and I know what "the culture" thinks about homosexuality... I can't even think about coming out at work). My mom also teaches at a (very) Catholic university... I'm even scared she might be fired if someone finds out. I'd say you don't have to tell them now, wait until you're less dependent on them... but I completely understand the part about being reluctant to come out to more people because you're afraid your parents might find out. It can be a frustrating obstacle that keeps you in the closet WAY longer than you'd like to be. I'm experiencing that same thing right now. I think TheEdend's right: even if they hate the idea, they'll probably come around sooner or later, probably sooner... I'd also say test the waters a bit, bring up the topic of bisexuality in a casual conversation and see how they react, BUT do consider that most people probably feel a certain way about "people" being bisexual and a completely different way about THEIR SON being bisexual. I wish I could give you some concrete advice, but all I can say is I get what you're feeling, and I wish you the best of lucks with this. If I come out anytime soon, and I really hope I will, I'll tell you how it goes, just so you have a possible scenario in mind.
Thanks for the advice guys!! Im definitely gonna try to tell a few more people when I go back to college in the fall. Im pretty sure i'll find support there. Would love to hear more tips and similar stories. Will definitely keep u posted on how things go!(*hug*)
hello, my parents aren't catholic but my dad is a pastor. i came out about 15 years ago, to my dad first who kept calm and thought it was a phase. my mom a few years later and she FREAKED OUT! i knew she was going to so i came out 2 hours before i had to go to work so i had an escape plan. my mom is now my best friend and even though she doesn't approve she acknowledges which is more than i had wished for, she is respectful to my partners when she meets them. when coming out my only advice to you is give them space to feel what they are going to feel. remember your parents are going to have to come out too. they have to bury the idea of the life they had for you and even though they might of had a feeling, they are no longer allowed to ignore it once you confirm. some are lucky to have accepting parents and some are not, either way everyone needs a second to feel what they have to feel. and trust me IT ALWAYS GETS BETTER. i know its an old thread and i hope you ripped the band aid off
