I was already anxious about going to the support group meeting tonight, but now I am double anxious. While I think I am still going to go, my dad was doing a 20 questions on me. This morning he called me and left a nice message in my machine,(telling me how he is reading Greg's book) I called him back later. I try not to say things to my dad that will set him off, but sometimes no matter what he still goes at it. I told him I took a test run to the meeting, because I wasn't sure how to get there. My cousin gave me directions and while they were okay, she has me going through a very dangerous part of town to get there(I probably could of prevented this whole thing if I never said this statement to him). I agree with my dad, that there is an easier way to get there, but then he goes on and says these things: -I am not so sure about thie gay support group thing. I think he was saying this because of the location. -Why is it in the city?? -Then he said give me a link to the site, I did. He then says it sounds legit. Although, it was never a real concern of mine. I played on his concern and asked him why its in the city and in a rougher part of town. He answers well, its just a good central location(I can not win) -While he was reading the site, he says to me. I would not talk a lot at the meeting. -Then he says it sounds like the site is for friends/family of gay people, but he says I do not see anything about gay people themselves attending(roll eyes) -While giving new directions he says, you just seem to be saying yeah, but you are not really listening. This is true, because even though I will probably go another way, his directions confuse me Like he means well, and he asked me about a week ago, if I heard back from the group. He also told me he is reading Greg Louganis book I gave him and he told me he is enjoying it. Although, my dad and I have only been talking for about 4 months. I try to distance myself and tell him things that will not set him off, but sometimes I lose. Now I am a nervous wreck about going. He does this with everything not just gay stuff. Its like a freakin' instructional manual with the man. He wants everything done the way he thinks it should be done I know I am not alone and there are other parents who are critical, but its hard when you have OCD. Because I take it double is hard and start doubting everything about the meeting tonight. Ugh. I feel like calling it a night and its only 2:30pm :bang:
Its almost comical and I frogot to mention the most important part after the interigation, he says to me let me know how it goes(sigh) I do not even want to go at all now.
aww, sounds like my dad except I set him off all the time, and then he yells and I yell and I cry and he Yells some more. lol. thats probably not funny. oh well. It is hard enough facing something with out their criticalness messing with you. I have a social phobia thing ((I am getting better, but sometimes its still really bad)) and the last thing I need is to talk to my dad before it comes up cause he just makes me feel dumb. Try not to let it hinder you, go, see what it is like, and nevermind what ur dad said, there is always going to be people like him out there, It doesnt sound like he means to do it, just that he doesnt realize the consequences for what he says, trust your instincts, if you want to go and think you will benifit then force yourself into it, at least once, so you can atleast not have to deal with the what ifs and add it to the list of things you backed out off due to a fear. (i dont know if any of this made sense. lol sorry.) good luck let us know how it goes.
GO to the meeting!!! You'll feel like you fit in like you've never fit in anywhere before!!! (That's my hope for you anyway!) And as they say - nothing ventured, nothing gained!
Gosh, i'm not doing too well with you at the moment. I completely missed this thread yesterday!!! How did your meeting go? I hope you didn't let your dad get you down and confuse you. I have a brother in law like your dad, you tell him something and off he goes telling all the best ways, all the different possibilities and at the end you don't know if you are on your head or your heels. You know your dad is only doing it coz he cares. I think he really wants to be part of your life but he is being a bit like a bull in a china shop. Things will calm down between you, you just have to get to know each other a bit better. You have to give it to your dad, even if he is like a charging elephant, he is giving it his best shot. Here this is for your dad (*hug*) Even if you didn't go to the meeting this week, you can always go to the next meeting. Jim is right it will probably do you the world of good to meet other people, get you out of the house and 'mingling'. Hey this is EC mum talking now 'You'll never find yourself a nice boyfriend if you don't get out there and show yourself!' Ok end of lecture
