Incoming tl;dr, you have been warned. Okay so recap what's happened in my life recently: Got a job, came out to my dad, kicked out, finished school, taking finals, taking therapy to get HRT Alright so, part of me is feeling like I might not even get the HRT in 3 months of therapy even though I have asked for the letter of recommendation and my mother does approve...I feel she's just going to try and be a normal therapist...and as well recently with my roomate....I've been annoying her without meaning to because I'm scared about getting kicked out because the landlord doesn't know that I'm living here yet. And emmm..I dreamt for the first time in years last night and I'm going to say it's the best dream I've ever had...I had my perfect body and everything about me was right..but also it was the best imagining of sex I've ever had, I was wearing an amazing orange shirt and a skirt, panties off...and a guy penetrating me, it felt soooo good. I was so pissed off when I had to get p for my exam today because I had a reality check...god that was seriously the single best dream I have ever had...but the thing is, I'm not emotionally attracted to men, just physcially and sexually, I'm all 3 with girls though. My gender dysphoria though has only gotten worse since last night because I just went...like holy fuck why don't I look like that? And I start to doubt that hormones will even make me look that amazing. Been in the most pissy depressive bitchy mood lately because of it.
A lot of straight and bi girls have that dream, about penetration feeling so good, only to have the crushing weight of reality come crashing down on them :lol: Sad fact is, most straight boys can't pronounce clitoris ... let alone find it :eusa_doh: But then I've heard some women can have "vaginal orgasms". So, I shouldn't generalize from my own experience. Plus, actually being straight or bi when having sex with a guy might help too If you don't mind my asking, I'm curious: how did you picture yourself? And please, please don't say platinum blonde and big-breasted :tears:
orangey hair with blonde highlights and black lowlights with my breasts being b cup aka perfect and my hair has really long sides aka scene...i also imagined myself as having really amazing curves..I hate being trans...why couldn't I have just been born a girl?
oh man I feel for you and I was wanting to go through the trans process in the beggining but felt it might have been to drastic for me. One I dont like drama and with such an in depth procedure like that drama would just follow me but I really hope you can get the HRT and hopefully finish your procedure asap
I don't feel like any drama would come of it...I know if i don't 90% chances are likely i will commit suicide. I'm not a boy, I'm a girl so why should I look like one?
Being a lesbian is enough for me to handle as it is. I can't imagine how hard it would be being stuck in the wrong body Stay strong, Star (*hug*)
I guess I'm kind of pansexual but..I like the label lesbian and I'd like to be called a lesbian...funny thing is I'm only attracted to feminine males..but I don't want relationships with males..it's just part of me thinks sex with males feels oh so good..
