OK here's the story. I have a really good friend who I've known for about a year and I'm in love with him. I've been in love with him ever since we became friends. I don't know what to do because I am in a relationship. I want to be with my friend except he's gay. And it feels like I'm chasing after something I can never have. But he's really nice to me and he's there when I need someone to talk to and he understands me. He's the perfect man in my eyes. But I also love my boyfriend Jason. Jason makes me laugh and he's really sweet and caring, and he is also perfect. What should I do? I'm stuck between two choices. And it's really hard to think about because everytime I think about I want to cry. It's basically got me going on an emotional roller coaster. What should I do? If anyone has any advice please tell me.:help:
has your friend ever said anything about maybe sitting on the fence? or is he very sure about his orientation, if he is gay,a nd even if you guys were to get together, it would never be wht it should be, because he would always have those feelings towards guys and would be being untrue to himself and that wouldnt be fair to either one of you. its a hard situation, i am sorry, i wish you all the luck. talk to your friend, see whats happening.
Think of your friend as if he were married. He's a wonderful person, fun to be around, easy to talk with but completely unavailable to you as a possible boyfriend. He didn't choose to be gay. His being gay isn't a reflection on his feelings for you. But it does disqualify him from being able to fulfill you in that way. I met a girl when I was in my 20's who was married to someone else. She was a lovely woman- physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. She and I could have had something wonderful but...that's true lots and lots of times in everyone's life. If they weren't married, if they weren't gay, if they were more responsible, if they only felt the same way about me- the key to happy relationships is to to sift through all the people who have fatal flaws that ultimately spell disaster for you and work on the relationships that have a chance of working. You have no chance of turning a young man who's certain that he's gay into a heterosexual. You have a great friendship with him- let that be enough! And if your current boyfriend is all you say he is- stop comparing him to your friend and appreciate what you've got. If you're crying because you can't make up your mind- it's possible that your feelings for your boyfriend aren't as strong as you'd like them to be. Is it possible that all you really feel towards him is friendship? If you feel more than that- he deserves better than what you're giving him. You need to come to terms with the finality of recognizing that what can never be isn't something to beat yourself up over but rather something you just have to accept. All the best, Tim
Im really stuck in the same situation. It seems liek I can not choose who and i feel bad, and i dont want to ask myself because I know there wont be no answer lol Tim C said it Sam, you should choose the one you got right now, because that is what God gave you. I knwo hwo much you love your friend but he could be your bestest buddy, or your spiritual friend
I think your boyfriend is the one to go with. Even if a relationship were possible between you and your gay friend, you'd have to take your current relationship into account. Is it worth breaking your current boyfriend's heart just to have a shot at love with your gay friend? Also, even if he is sitting on the fence, he will, in all likelyhood, decide that he is gay, unless he's told you consistantly that he's questioning. Even then, its a risk. If you love your boyfriend and your gay friend equaly, then go with the one who can love you back the same way you love him. I'm talking about your boyfriend, of course. You're gay friend sounds like a great person, but you'll probably end up being just friends. The sooner you accept that, the better you'll be in the long run.
