This is my first post, so I thought I may as well go straight to the reason why I've joined I'm struggling to work out whether I'm straight or bi. Up until the beginning of last year, there was no doubt in my mind that I was straight, but then I suddenly realised I had a massive crush on my favourite actress (and, I mean massive - for example, I cried for days when she got engaged). I talked to my best mate about it & she asked me questions like "Have you ever thought about kissing her" etc. I just completely panicked about all the questions, said 'no' to every question, and told my mate (and myself) that I was straight. Then, about 5 months ago, I got another crush on a woman. I really worried about it at first because I'd convinced myself so much that I was straight, but eventually I accepted it & said to my best mate I was bi. It really didn't bother me that I'd admitted it to someone, but when the feelings went, I was again adamant that I was straight. Now, the crush on my favourite actress has grown even more & if my mate asked me the questions she said last year, the answer would be yes, but I'd never say it out loud. In my heart, I know I'm bi, but when I say it to myself I still panic & tell myself I'm straight. It's not as if I'm worried about being frowned upon by my parents - they're very accepting, but I still wouldn't tell them if I was bi. I'd only feel comfortable telling my friend, because she's gone through the same thing as me. I just want to know if I am bi or not. And, if I am, how do I accept it myself? One last note, I've never kissed a lad or had a boyfriend (that's not my choice, I just never went to school, so haven't really gone through all that stuff yet). I do wonder whether that contributes to my doubts. If someone could reply, it'd be a massive help
Hey welcome to EC. Firstly I think you have probably already figured out that you are not straight, you are somewhere on the scale somewhere between straight and bi. The things is with sexuality and you will see it more and more if you stick around EC, sexuality is not fixed it is fluid, there are lots of people who go through periods where they have stronger feelings for same sex and then other periods where they have more of a preference for opposite sex so this is probably the periods you are experiencing, the problem with it is when you are first discovering and coming to terms with your sexuality any small thing can sow a small seed of doubt in your mind and then its easy for it to grow. I dont think your sexuality has anything to do with the fact you have never had a boyfriend or been kissed, I have never had a boyfriend but I dont believe it is what has made me gay, and equally I have friends who didnt have a boyfriend or a kiss till they were in their 20's but they are still straight.
Hi there, and welcome to EC! As silverhalo mentioned, sexualities are fluid and they can change over time. It seems like that you are comfortable (on some level) with trying to figure things out and being accepting that you might not be straight, which is good. It will make things easier on you as you continue to figure things out. But as you have probably realized figuring things out and also being confronted with them, can bring out emotions and perhaps some fears. You already have a couple of clues, and I think it would be good if you would explore those further. Explore your feelings as it where. If you feel an attraction to someone, take a note of it, and try to understand it a bit better. Over time, as you keep doing that, you will get a better sense of where your attractions and feelings lie. Keep an open mind as you explore your feelings. Having someone to talk who has gone through similar feelings is really good. Try to keep talking to her. Sometimes, when we talk about our feelings and attractions, it helps us to understand them better.
Thanks for the replies . I'm just going to try & not worry about it. I already feel better about it from just posting on here really. Talking to my best mate about it will definitely help too. I think, in time, I will accept everything. I just worried about it because I've been confused for the past 18 months. I'm so glad I found this forum & I'll definitely be sticking around :icon_bigg
I would say that you are probably bi. Experimentation (of course nothing that you are not ok with) is most likely going to help you figure out what your sexual orientation is.
I've just come to terms with being bi. It can be hard to accept at first, but stick in there. I used to panic and think that I was straight as well. As for accepting it, I looked back through my life and realized that I liked both men and woman. That though, can take a while. Also, what whatsnormal7 said will help you too.
