Hey, So I was able to admit to myself that I am gay for a few months now. I always kind of knew, but never really asked myself until recently. I want to wait until college to come out. When I'm away from home and have the space between my family, I dunno why - all I know I'm scared. With a family who is repulsed by anything 'gay' (especially my Father which is just ugh.) so I really am reluctant to say anything. There is no hope I'd ever want to come out in my school/community life as my life would be hell. I wouldn't come out to my friends either. I have one girl that I am really close to but I'm so scared of telling that she would tell someone by the slip of the tongue. I just feel a lot of trust issues and such. I thought I could keep it for another year but its really harder than I thought and I'm getting upset over it. The only people who know (for sure) is this community and a friend from the internet. But besides from that, feels like I can't talk to anyone about it. I try to give hints that I'm gay, but I seem to back up this sort of enforcing 'I'm straight' vibe, with like comments to women (who I know are sexy, but I would have zero attraction to whatsoever.) seems like more of a subconscious thing, I don't know why I do it. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm confused and lost and I need help.
It is a good idea to come out in college =) Right now when you are not out to any one, the idea of coming seems really scary. But once you are out to at least someone, like that best friend that you were talking about, things will become easier. If you feel that your best friend will probably be fine knowing your gay, I do suggest that you come out to her, so at least you have someone to talk to about your problems. I was like you before, but after I came out to my best friend, things got much better. I feel more comfortable with myself and I gradually came to more friends with her help. Everyone has to pass that scary first time coming out. But believe me, it's worth it =)
I have had pretty much the same experience. I just recommend not going to a local college like I did if at all possible. I'm quite sure it will make everything much easier.
Hey, I'm in the same situation as you essentially. I think if you really do trust the girl you mentioned, and you don't want to keep lying, tell her and make sure she knows not to tell anyone.
