I'm sort of in need of some advice. I'm a lesbian and I came out to my mum just over a year ago and my sister has known for years. My problem is my dad. He makes horrible comments about gay people on TV and he just doesn't accept anything that goes against what is considered 'normal'. Despite this, I really want to come out to him as I've had a girlfriend for 4 months and I have to lie to him all the time. He almost saw us together in town and we were holding hands and we had to quickly drop hands. It was a horrible moment and I'm constantly living in fear of him finding out. I think it would be better for me to tell him myself, rather than him finding out some other way. I've written him a letter, where I've explained everything but is it a good idea? I'm wondering whether he'd appreciate it more if I told him face to face. He does get angry very easily though, and I may not be able to say everything I planned on saying if he starts shouting at me. My mum refuses to help me with this and she says it's something I must do myself. Please help me
Hello there, and welcome! The letter idea is not necessarily a bad idea. If i was really afraid of what my dad was going to say, and if I was concerned that I wouldn't get a chance to say what I want to say, then a letter may not be a bad idea at all. Make sure it is written with a very good tone, no anger; also make sure that the letter is as honest as you are willing to be if you choose to write one. And I would also advise that you tell him that nothing he did ever affected your sexual orientation if you think he might misunderstand that. If you choose to tell him in person, pick a comfortable spot. Perhaps the "I want to talk about something" and then go to the living room... just a random idea. I understand that your mom doesn't want to help, but maybe you can ask her to support you after you go through with telling him. That may help you feel a bit more confident about it all . Hope that is helpful, good luck!
if you do decide to tell him face to face, consider telling him in a public place. like a coffee shop or a park or something. this way he will be less likely to blow up on you after you come out to him. and if he doesnt blow up, you'll be able to say all that you had planned in the letter.
