how do you come out to a family that is christian and conservative? i have always gotten along with my brother. so i am afraid our relationship will be broken when i come out to him. he is super christian and conversative. ive heard him make fun of gay people before, and he believes that people turn homosexual after a traumatic event. for example, if you were sexually abused or neglected as a child.. u get it. then there is my sister. she isnt religious and doesnt have strong political views, but i have never gotten along with her, and she has a big mouth. growing up, any secret i would tell her, she'd tell my parents. i dont trust her to keep it under wraps for me. i plan on telling my mom last, because she will most likely freak out the most. mom is.. easily swayed. basically whatever my brother thinks, she will think. she is also super religious and pretty conservative. i know that she thinks homosexuality is gross and wrong. :eusa_naug how do i tell them? how do i make them understand? and not hate me? family is very important to me. i have always been the good sibling. ive always been responsible. gotten good grades. stayed out of trouble. been good at sports. i hope that my family doesnt see me as a failure after i come out. ive worked so hard to make them proud of me. :help:
My family's not conservative or particularly religious, so all the advice I have is to check out some of the sites linked in the 'Resources' section like PFLAG.
First off, I'd like to say not to be put off by the views/reply ratio. A lot of times I'll view a thread to see if I can help, and then avoid replying because I don't have any useful advice. In this case, however, I have a little bit of experience. My parents are Conservative Christians, and my sister seems to be following that path (I seemed that way too, until this year when I abandoned the faith). So far, I've only told my mother and brother, with the brother being extremely indifferent about the whole thing. Here's what happened when I told my mother: I told her, and her first question was "How do you justify that by the Bible?" I had my ideas, which I told her, but then the entire conversation segued into my atheism. She doesn't approve, but she has been adamant that I will not be kicked out of the house or lose financial and emotional support from the family. I know she believes homosexuality to be gross and wrong (and I know my father believes the same thing) but they know that my orientation is not the entirety of who I am. So, my experience is there for you to take comfort in. On to your specific family! Your brother I don't think you'll need to worry about too much. I would anticipate him to react much like my mother, non-approving but still family. After all, he knows you haven't had a traumatic event, and he won't be making fun of gays as much when he realizes he's making fun of his own brother. Make sure to give him links to a pamphlet on LGBT groups and faith from PFLAG, HRC, or another source (I'll include the ones I've found at the bottom). If your sister doesn't know how to keep a secret, then you should probably tell her after you tell your mom. Coming out plans barely work properly in the first place, so there's no need to complicate yours by telling a confirmed loud-mouth. With your mom, I'd say she'll likely react as your brother would. Again, the pamphlets will be great tools that you can use to help her understand what you've been going through and what the proper response should be. Remember, even if she never approves of your orientation, she'll very likely still love you and support you as her daughter! If you want any more help, resources, opinions, etc. feel free to post here or on my wall! I'd be happy to help! Links: PFLAG: Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays - PFLAG's FAQ about LGBT for Parents and Friends http://www.hrc.org/documents/Straight-Guide-to-LGBT-Americans-September-2010.pdf - HRC's Straight Guide to LGBT Americans http://www.hrc.org/documents/The_Bible_and_Homosexuality.pdf - Short discussion on how Homosexuality and Christianity are fully compatible. Seeking God's Wisdom about Christian Homosexuality - LONG discussion on how Homosexuality and Christianity are fully compatible. (Also, "For the Bible Tells Me So," a documentary, goes over a lot of what's on this page)
