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I Am So Screwed

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by bookworm43, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. bookworm43

    bookworm43 Guest

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    hey so i'm the story i'm sure youv all heard this one before. im a closeted 14 year old lesbian fresh outta middle school and i'm pretty much super unpopular and not many people like me and i get picked on. im never like the other girls talking about guys and stuff and iduuno i'm scared that it won't be long until one of my friends or someone makes the connection that i'm gay. i need all the advice about high school i can get- please help? :help:
     
  2. Lexington

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    Welcome to EC! :slight_smile:

    First off, it's common in your position to want to hide our personalities for fear of being "found out". But you'll notice that "being straight/bi/gay" isn't as large a part of our personalities as we think. Yes, guys will talk about girls, and girls will talk about guys. But it's fairly easy to deflect any questions about guys simply by saying "He's OK, I guess" or some such.

    You notice what's happening. You're withholding a lot of your personality. And here you are, "super unpopular". Because by displaying no personality, you're coming across as...well, a cardboard box. And nobody wants to befriend a box. :slight_smile: So you might start working on letting more of your personality show. Keep an eye peeled on how gay students are treated at your new school. If you see that they're not ostracized in a major way, you can feel fairly confident at letting your freak flag out. You don't have to come out necessarily, but feel free to be more "you". Approach some people, start some conversations, and see what happens. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. silverhalo

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    Hey welcome to EC. I agree with Lex he always gives such great advice. Its difficult when you are scared and worried about people finding out, but it will get better and hopefully your new school will be friendly and you will be able to relax and be more yourself.
     
  4. dumbblondedoe

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    High School is not as bad as they portray it to be. I was in your shoes a few years ago but u know what i was shocked there were alot of gurls just like me. Heck even my math teacher was a lesbian and she mentored me alot the 4 years i was there. You know the important thing is to just be yourself, and who cares what others think. The main thing is that you are truthful to yourself.
     
  5. roborama

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    i hear you girl. i was in your shoes 4 years ago (wow i feel old...) totally closeted and make fun of a lot. to be completly honest it sucks, but dont worry too much about high school. for me it got a lot better.

    well freshman year i went into massive denial about my sexualtiy and dated more boys than i can count. then when i realized i couldnt change it i just tried to cover it up with more boys. i did that to myself... it didnt need to be like that. people really wouldnt have noticed or even cared too much. so please dont do that (sorry rambling memories)

    i finally came out the beginning of this year (junior; senior next year woohoo) and its been hard but no where near as difficult as it was or i thought it was going to be and it keeps getting better.

    high school isnt all big and scary even for us gay girls. there are teachers and staff that are there to support you and if theres a gsa at your school id recommend you join. you dont have to come out to be there (ive been in the one at my school since freshman year) and its nice to have that sort if support system.

    in the mean time open yourself up more. join some clubs once in high school, maybe something youve never done before. try band or chorus, or sports or even knitting club. youll meet new people that are into the same sort of things you are. the more you get involved the more people you meet :slight_smile:

    and i give you major props for being out to your parents that is the hardest part. i didnt until this year. i see youre stronger than you make yourself sound, and remember it always gets better.

    post on my wall if you ever need anything :slight_smile:
     
  6. nala

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    am 24 and black gay looking boy friend for longterm relationship am not out . want boyfriend have between 24 and 30 . I have 1.88 cm and weight 58kg , brown
     
  7. Pine

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    Every experience is different but the thing that is the same is that you are important and worth something. I think college is so much better.