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Almost told my mom but having second thoughts now

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by spacedudeiitb, Jun 22, 2011.

  1. spacedudeiitb

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Mumbai, India
    Gender:
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    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I want to come out to mom. But instead of jumping right at it, I decided to know how she feels about he issue first and maybe sensitize her...

    I had purposefully left a book on the bed for my mom to see. It was 'Funny Boy' by Shyam Selvadurai. Since, she's very interested in reading, I had guessed and was correct in that she would want to read it. She asked me how it was. I told her that it was very good and emotionally very moving.

    For, your reference , the book is a coming-of-age novel of a Srilankan Tamil boy who's caught in the middle of the Civil War over there. He gradually realizes his sexuality and the book describes all that he goes through in the process. he falls in love with a Sinhalese boy in his class but he's forced to leave the country because of the war, thus getting separated.

    But today, we were talking about the book. She hasn't finished it yet but we were just discussing it. She had a funny expression on her face about this homosexual issue.
    She was saying that it was against the order of nature.
    I argued that it was indeed nature that makes them feel attracted to the same sex.

    She then said that it was stupidity and that we're hearing about all that only now and not in the olden days.
    I told her that they existed since time immemorial and there are depictions of it in ancient temples too. It's just that people are slowly starting to come out and identify themselves now since today's is a free society unlike the olden days.

    I then talked about Nepal's first lesbian wedding today.
    She told me that it was all madness.

    I asked her how she could be so insensitive.
    She retorted that it was the gays who were insensitive to the society.

    I then talked about Harish Iyer, a Child Sexual Abuse victim and how there's no law to protect it from getting repeated, simply because we refuse to accept that homosexuality is prominent in the society and that male children too need to be protected from sexual abusers. I asked her to think from the shoes of a gay boy told her that if the boy knows that he's going to be getting so much Resistance from the society, why would he choose to be gay? It's simply not his fault. It's just the way he is. I told her that what hurts most is that they don't get any acceptance from parents.
    She replied "Of Course the parents won't accept. How can they?"

    She then asked me why I was talking about all this.
    I told her that I get a lot of such news in my newsfeed in Twitter and I really feel it is a grave issue.

    The conversation somehow ended there. And we began to talk something else.

    I'm really confused as to how to proceed now. I do really want to come out to her but make it smooth for her and not just throw it at her face.

    Some advice please.
     
  2. bookworm43

    bookworm43 Guest

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    That's terrible! I'm sorry :frowning2: (*hug*) i don't know. maybe you're mom would change her mind if she knew, ya know? but maybe you shouldn't take my advice on that 'cause i don't exactly know your position...agghh i'm sorry :frowning2: i'm so unhelpfull...
     
  3. ICTOAUN

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    damn, thats a tough situation. i believe youll get through it though. your mom clearly needs to open her mind to homosexuality. like bookworm43, i think she may change her mind if she knew you are gay. i encourage you to continue to educate your mother on this subject. i honestly dont know how i would proceed if i were in your shoes. best of luck. itll all work out. it has to. youre gay. you cant change that. and youre mother loves you, so hopefully she will come around and accept you.
     
  4. Jaason

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    I'm not sure what to say, but things just might change! My mom used to be like that until I came out to her, then it turned out she was just afraid I was gay (which I am) and wanted me to "dissuade me" from being gay :/

    Eventually, though she still doesn't seem to like the fact that I'm gay, she's pretty much accepted me and doesn't have too many issues anymore..