Am I a lesbian? ;_; So confused.

amen. i totally hear you- i thought i was the only one on this site who didn't know what lesbians were until 5th grade! *wipes sweat from forehead* don't worry about putting a label on it. i suggest that, if someone asks, say that yes you like girls, and if they ask if you're a lesbian, just tell them that you don't do labels. i mean, who are labels for? they aren't for yourself, and no one deserves to get a clear cut answer from anyone. we are who we are, we love who we love, and that's all that matters. you know how you feel deep inside, and until others do too, don't even worry about being OVERLY acting "straight", you know? our sexuality is not the most intresting thing about us. plus, i hear that colledge is FULL of openly gay or questioning people, so i guess we both have that too look forward too- our own little campus safe haven good luck!!

 

It seems to me that you are about half a lesbian and half pansexual. From my understanding of pansexualy its where you don't have any sex in a relationship. From what you told be I think this is what you are.

On a small side not I understand what you went through, I have the same relationship with my friends. Hear all the talk about getting the perfect girl and having a family. But I myself envisioned getting the perfect guy and living my life with him where ever we may be. I have never had kissed another guy/girl or sex.(don't even plan on it for a while) but I only see girls as friends and Guys as something More. So You and me are very similar. I am here if you need to talk.

 

I think Bryan's right, but asexual, not pansexual. Pansexual means that you're attracted to people regardless of gender. Asexual means you aren't interested in sex.
Although it could be just a trust thing. Maybe you just aren't ready to trust anyone like that yet, which is totally fine. Do you have any sexual urges/horniness?

Good luck figuring everything out. (*hug*)

 

That's not pansexual, it's asexual.

But yeah, the reality is, you like girls. You may or may not decide that you want sex in the future, but like others say it's not always helpful to try and cram your sexuality into a label.

If people ask, you're into girls. Whether or not you're asexual, idk, you'll figure it out. For now maybe asexual, homo-romantic? Or just no label at all, that's really about what you feel comfortable with and it can certainly change.

 

sorry guys new it wa something thats for the correction!

 

I certainly have not known I was gay since I was four. It never even occurred to me until high school, I'm sure, even after a very confusing time in middle school full of very confusing feelings about guys. I couldn't admit it to myself until my senior year. You're absolutely not alone in any of that.
I think you're lesbian. I don't know that there's any getting around that, and I'm sorry if it isn't exactly what you want to hear. I guess it's possible that you might be slightly asexual, but from what I've heard and seen, asexuals aren't frightened by the idea of sex as much as simply uninterested in it. Maybe that's what you are, I don't know, but it does sound to me like you're lesbian.
But like I said, you're not alone. You're definitely not the only one experiencing this. You aren't the first and you won't be the last.

(Incidentally, I love what you said about boys being "meh," haha! That's so perfect! I totally get that, but, you know, in reverse. )

 

I can't really help because I'm kind of in the same position. But I did want to say that ^ about sums it up.

 

i liked this girl. she liked me. i liked her so much but i was afraid of sex too. we started doing stuff. i started liking it. now we do stuff all the time.
from your post it doesnt sound like uve have a sexual experience with a girl yet. id say try it out. she doesnt have to b ur gf to have sex with her. i know what u mean by being afraid of genitals. maybe u just havent been up close and personal with one. its actually really fun. and not scary at all. dont let it be an insecurity or yours. trust me, if you dig girls like u say u do, youll get used to it, and like it.

---------- Post added 22nd Jun 2011 at 10:08 PM ----------

and i didnt even consider being a lesbian a possability until my freshman year of high school. although, looking back at my childhood, i see now that there were many signs.

 

Before I truly knew my sexuality, I was wondering whether or not I was gay, but as time went on, I knew I was. You may not even have a relationship with anyone, but you may feel more homosexual as time goes on, or perhaps heterosexual. Who knows and just give it time to see where it goes.

But in some ways, you remind me of how I was back in High School. I considered myself asexual at the time, but I was having homosexual thoughts, it's entirely possible to do so.

And believe me, I'm scared of sex. Not the actual part, but the more "interesting" bits of it, like all those various positions and acts to take part in.

Again, it's probably inexperience though.

 

It is sometimes really hard to come out to people, especially with such a deeply personal thing like sexuality, which you seem to have anxieties about. But your therapist knows how to help you overcome those things. All it takes is one awkward moment and then you've got a great ally standing with you to help you through.
And hey, in the meantime, you could do the same thing you're doing with your friends...say something about a hot girl and then your therapist might ask?

Good luck (*hug*)