I recently broke up with my girlfriend and she dont know why, i want to tell her because i am gay and that i just went out with her to "try" to be straight, but it didnt work, she is the first one i want to come out to and we are still friends and i told her i broke up with her because i was going through some stuff, and she said she understood but she seemed a little bit sad, i told her we need to talk in private soon, and i hope she is accepting, and when we talk i dont know how to tell her, any advice?
Welcome to EC! First off, if you broke it off with her because you're gay, why did you choose "bi-christian" as your sign-in name? Or am I reading that wrong? If you're not sure you're ready to tell her (or anybody), you can keep the sexuality out of it. You can simply say "I really like you as a friend, and I thought it'd be great if we could be more than friends, so I decided to go out with you for awhile and hope something would develop. But I'm afraid nothing did. I still really like you, and think you're an amazing friend, but I guess it's just not in me to like you any more than that." This is all completely accurate, and explains things completely truthfully, but it leaves out the entire sexuality aspect. But if you're ready to come out to her, you can do that too. I'd caution against saying "I went out with you to see if I could be straight" - that makes it sound like you were completely using her. Instead, stick with the script above. "I like you a lot as a friend, and I wanted to see if something would develop if we went out. But nothing did. Now I'm thinking I might be gay. I'm kind of bummed that I am, because I would've loved to have been your boyfriend. Now, I guess I'll just have to be your really good gay friend, instead." Lex
i came out to her today and she was a little shocked and confused she first said "excuse me?" and i asked her to not tell anybody and that i will when the time is right, and then i asked her if we could still be friends and she said yea and then she said "was i not enought for you?" and i said well its nothing personal im just into guys and not girls, and she then said "i've always wanted a gay friend" and it made me feel soo much better and the reason my sign-in name is bichristian is because when i first made it i wasnt sure if i was gay or bi so i just but bi instead of gaychristian lol, and thanks for the advice, and me and her are still planning to follow through with the plans we made while we were dating, just as friends, and it made me realy happy to know that she accepted me and she understood, it just feels like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and i plan on telling a few other friends that i know wont go blabbering their mouthes
