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I've gotten myself into a predicament

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by NoPlanB, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. NoPlanB

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    Hey, I'm pretty sure this is my first thread in this forum, so I hope I'm doing this right (and I hope this makes sense).

    I consider myself gay (kinsey 5, but a girl has to be really special if she's gonna do anything for me) and I'm still completely in the closet.

    Tonight I was working at a festival in my hometown when I was approached by a girl and a couple of her friends. She wasted no time asking if I had a girlfriend. Thinking she was going to leave soon, I replied "no". She hung around me for quite a while, all the time telling me how hot and sexy I was. I didn't mind the compliments, but she was as annoying as hell. She then proceeded to ask me how old I was, and then told me that her sister was the same age. She then asked me if I wanted to date her sister.

    My friends were around, so I got scared and said yes. She drove home, picked up her sister and brought her to me. We talked for a while and then her sister asked for my number and my Facebook. I, being too scared to say no to her face, gave them to her and then told her we could hang out sometime soon.

    She told me she was going to come back after I was done working. The first girl (the annoying one) asked her if I was going to take her sister to the fireworks show that evening so that I could make out with her. She also told all her friends that I was dating her sister. Well, as soon as I got done working, I left as quickly as I could and drove home.

    Now I don't know what to do. I liked the sister as a friend, but there's nothing special there, but she clearly thought there was. I said I would call her or talk to her on Facebook. I don't want to be in a relationship with this girl, but I'm too scared to tell her. And I really don't want to tell her that I'm gay. But I don't want to just leave her hanging and never talk to her again. I really could use some advice. I don't know what to do.
     
  2. Lexington

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    First off, let's back up and play do-overs, just so we can see where the errors are.

    >>>She then proceeded to ask me how old I was, and then told me that her sister was the same age. She then asked me if I wanted to date her sister. My friends were around, so I got scared and said yes.

    Error number one. I can understand the "O noz, they'll think I'm gay" panic attack, but the thing is - I wouldn't date a GUY without having ever met them before. So there's nothing wrong with turning the girl down. You could have simply said "Well, I don't even know your sister. It's awfully early in the game to discuss dating her." I personally would have added "I'm not sure I'd be interested in somebody who sends their sister over to get her a date, myself", but that's me. :slight_smile:

    >>>She drove home, picked up her sister and brought her to me. We talked for a while and then her sister asked for my number and my Facebook. I, being too scared to say no to her face, gave them to her and then told her we could hang out sometime soon.

    Error number two. Again, you can play the "it's early in the game" card, and just ask for an e-mail address or something less personal than Facebook. :slight_smile:

    Driving home wasn't really an error, I don't think. It removed you from the situation. And this other girl sounds more than just "annoying". Nothing wrong with playing Cupid, but "are you going to take her to the fireworks show so you can make out with her"? Really? Ugh. Smartass Lex would've taken over at that point. "Are you stuck living vicariously through your sister's sex life because yours is so empty?"

    What to do now? I'd stick with my first bit. "It's early sailing yet. I don't know you at all. I'm not interested in dating somebody I don't know. Maybe we can hang out together sometime, but right now, I don't have any interest in dating you." I think that makes things pretty clear, without being cruel.

    Lex
     
  3. Danny19

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    i second lex :slight_smile:
     
  4. dl72

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    I agree. I would not date so done I don't know. The sister was too the point wasn't she. I have a problem with that as well.