Hi im Matt, 24 male and confused So... when i was younger i remember having a bit of attraction to males but known it was a werid feeling so just ignored it went on with life as normal never really had many girlfriends as i grew up just thought girls were attractive and all but not overly intrested in them to get pysical but that could be just because of my shy/quiet nature . so life went on about age 22 or 23 i got more into this one girl a lot lots of sex for months and was going well didnt have a attraction to a guy during this time once broke up with her i felt attraction to guys again and females to bout 50/50 id say. then few months later found out an app its a gay app on the phone literally stumbled across it one day not meaning to look for anything gay just was random i then got it out found it different and good at same time but had to hide it from all lol you basically chat to gay or bi guys who are close to u. I chatted for ages and ages on it but one day maybe few weeks into getting that app i met up with a gay guy was so so petriffed to go but did it coz he was a familiar face and weve seen eachother around where i live but never spoken When meeting up it was a uncomfortable but good experience lol , i then met up with a few more guys as time went on some good experinces some ok etc so atm i call my self bi but only two female friends know about me I honestly dont want to be gay wish i was just straight its so difficult to explain the feelings i have about guys its mixed bag i attracted to guys but i know its wrong i dont know where to go from here i dont want to tell any more friends and no way telling my parents or brother Well im just not sure what i want atm maybe a good guy as a bf but scared of that to coz u have to be out to have a bf im sure dam it ahhhhhhhhhhhhh If anyone is in my position or has been pls tell me steps or what i should n shouldnt do i cant just hook up with random guys for the rest of my life thats not what i would do with girls and not my personality not to say im a slut only been with a few guys over last 2 month some of the guys i see again to lol and some of them we just hang out for fun nothing sexual just mates which is good Anyways thank god for this website cya Matty ---------- Post added 25th Jun 2011 at 01:30 AM ---------- oh snap i stuffed up the title on this thread it should read WHAT TO DO NEXT ??:bang:
Welcome to EC! >>>I honestly dont want to be gay wish i was just straight. I can't speak for the group here, but I'm pretty sure none of us signed up for the whole "gay thing". (Or bi- thing, or trans thing.) None of us took classes to become gay, or went online to learn how to do it. We just all discovered (or are in the process of discovering) that that's how we ARE. And those of us further down the track have decided to live by our programming. Because it makes life a lot easier and a lot more fun. It sounds like you're bisexual. And right now, you're keeping the gay part of that on the downlow. And you might say it's hard to explain how you feel about guys, but I think I know. Not only are you attracted to them, but it wouldn't surprise me to find out that you somewhat enjoy the clandestine aspect of your encounters. It's fun to have secrets, and it can actually kick the sex up a notch or three if you think of it as a "dirty little secret". What to do? Honestly, right now, I don't know if you need to do anything. If you're enjoying these encounters, and you don't have any issue keeping them from your friends, I don't see any reason not to continue. I'd urge you to "play safe" (and if you don't know how to "play safe" with other guys, definitely find out how), but other than that, you might just stay the course for awhile. It might be that you decide that you'd like an actual relationship with a guy. Either with one of your encounters, or in an abstract sort of way. If so, that'd be the time to start considering coming out to the people you know. It might be a scary prospect, but keep in mind - nobody's friends with you specifically because you're straight. If I polled your friends and asked "Why are you friends with Matt?", nobody would say "Because he only likes girls." If they're really friends, and they like you straight, they'll like you bi. There might be a period of adjustment as they get used to it, but know that most of time, people come around. Lex
Hi LEX, Thanks for getting back to me so quickly mate, im going to continue my path and see where it leads hope all goes well for me and yes i practice safe sex thanks again Matty
I would say that we all kinda have that at some point, where we aren't really ready to accept ourselves, be that its gay, bi, trans.... but it all comes with time. and you can have a bf and be in the closet, just be honest with him about it, some guys will understand, some won't. eventually you'll probably be ok with coming out, ubt don't think there is any special timeline.
