Hi everyone, I know I haven't posted on here for a while, but right now I just need some help and I don't know what else to do. I recently managed to have my first successful relationship with a guy and I thought it was going really well. Recently, however, he has had a lot of family stuff going on, and I haven't seen him as much. So the other day I went round to see him unnanounced, I know it was a bad idea. He told me that he had to break up with me because he couldn't deal with everything and hated hurting me. Its so frustrating as I feel that I can't be angry at him, as we both admitted that we still like each other. He said that we can be friends, which I know never works out, but I couldn't stand not being able to see him. He also said that once everything gets resolved, which could be tomorrow or in months or a year, that theres nothing to stop us getting back together. I guess I might just be looking for closure, I mean should I wait for him? Or is this just something that I need time to get over? And what should I make of the whole being friends thing?
You should take it for what it is. Seems to me like he has a lot on his plate and cant handle a relationship. Stay in touch and talk to him like you always have. I however, wouldnt let it get to the point were your "waiting" around for him. Live your life, if things work out that you get back together, Great!! If not, well then at least you know you were able to have a happy healthy relationship while it lasted. Also, it wouldnt hurt voicing your concerns to him, if you two were close and had that good of a relationship before, this shouldnt be too hard nor should he be surprised by your concerns.
There's not going to be closure so long as you're both leaving things open-ended. I think it was a good idea to call it off if he had so much going on that he couldn't juggle a relationship as well. I'd say the right call would be to: 1. offer to be there for him, as a friend and resource, if he needs it. 2. assume the relationship is over, at least as far as the boyfriend dynamic goes. 3. feel free to look elsewhere for a boyfriend. And yeah, if it ends up his life calms down sometime down the road, and he's interested in dating you again, and you're still single and interested, feel free to try again. But I'd consider that a "maybe somebody" event, and simply move on. Lex
