I've only come out to a few of my close friends, and really want to come out more. But I'm really scared to tell my parents. My dad was raised in a very religious Catholic home, and my mom's dad is the pastor of a Lutheran church, and the bible as well as christians have a very strong stand on homsexuality. Plus, from what I have witnessed, my parents don't hate gay people, but they certainly don't like them. I have started to notice that they scoff whenever the news mentions something about gay marriage or gay rights. I'm just so tired of lying to everyone around me. I'm thinking about waiting until I get my grade money from the finals this year to tell them, so that if when I tell them anytime soon (if I do), I have a little bit of cash to support myself if they kick me out. I'm just feeling so helpless and lost, but I really want to come out because having to lie about something that's apart of me just isn't feeling right. Help me! Please!
You and I are in a similar situation. I too am sick of lying to my parents however, at the time I am financially dependent on them. You really need to weigh your options, is it really worth being kicked out for? Is the stress of lying affecting you normal life? Can I manage to live how I want to and still have this secret floating around? I myself have decided not to come out to my parents until after I have moved out and am comfortable with my arrangements. If you think you can hang in there a bit longer than suggest you do just that.
My father is Catholic, and has always been very involved in the activities of the church. He never became a lay pastor, but it wouldn't have surprised me if he had. My mother is Episcopalian, and has also been very involved as a volunteer at her church. And I'd hear an occasional gay joke from them, as well. They couldn't have been more accepting of me coming out. There was a bit of time where they had to adjust to the idea, but they've been great about accept me and my partner into their lives. In fact, my mother is now in charge of a "sexual diversity" workshop that her church is undertaking. This doesn't mean that all parents will be like this. But know that it IS possible. You're probably the best judge of your parents. A better indicator of their possible reaction isn't their religion so much as their past reaction to other things you've done. Like...oh, I don't know. When you told them you wanted to be a cheerleader, or get on the soccer team, or take up playing drums. How did your parents react to that sort of thing? Did they listen? Did they try to understand your point of view? Or did they instantly sort of shut you down? I'd say that might be a better indication (although not a guarantee) of how your coming out might go. Lex
Yeah that's another reason I'm so worried about telling them. They haven't shown very much support to my guitar playing, and having constantly made negative remarks towards my clothing, make-up and choice in music. They seem less supportive of me then with my other siblings. It just seems that everything I do is a mistake. I hate that they don't accept me for who I am even now, let alone if they know I'm bi.
Wow, it's strange that I'm having the same issue. Both of my parents are really conservative minded...when I tried to come out to them, and I really mean "tried"- my mother told me that I was just going through a phase, and that I'd snap out of it...even better, she told me that I was making a terrible "choice" and she couldn't understand why I would "choose" such a lifestyle for myself when I could just pretend to be straight. However, all of my friends at school have been highly supportive! As a result though, when I come home I feel like I have to hide a part of me, which is so terrible. After all, the whole entire WORLD should know about my Chris Colfer obsession, right? But I can understand where you're coming from somewhat. However, since you're still financially dependent on them, you may want to weigh your options. Just remember that deep down, past all of the bullshit that you are their daughter, and therefore, they do (or at least they really should) love you unconditionally, even if they are working through this new information. It may take them months, or even years to come around, or they may not at all. But above all, you should remember that they love you. I think that it may give you a greater piece of mind to get this off your chest. I mean, even though I never got to completely talk to my parents, I at least feel a little better knowing I got to throw it out there. Anyway, I hope this makes sense and helps in some way! GOOD LUCK, you'll be fine!
