So this may be long because I havent posted in a while but all my thoughts needa be left here!! lol. Basically I'm still stuck in the coming out stage. I told my one good friend, and we talk about it but not really and thats more because I'm awkward about it. I still wanna tell my gay friend that I'm bi, but like the day after he visited he had a boyfriend. I think he'll really be in shock when I tell him because my other friend was shocked too. The main thing holding me back is that I think he's gonna think I'm hitting on him or something, and its worse now that he has like a boyfriend. I think sometime this week I'm gonna suck it up and do it because each day I get closer and closer anyway. An even bigger issue now is that I need to be with SOMEONE. I get with girls at school all the time but when I'm home I don't get anything from males or females. And its not even that really, I just want to be with a guy. I just started working almost everyday so I have less time to think about it, but not even sexually I kinda want to be emotionally attached to SOMETHING, and for the first time a guy. I think about it constantly and I try to make strides to make it happen by joining a few dating site things, but I'm too afraid to put a picture up. I'm too afraid to even put pictures of myself even on this website out of fear that someone I know might see me, and ruin my reputation (I'm crazy I guess). How do I get myself out of this stage! I wan't to be with a guy but I don't want to put up pictures of myself in the market of where I live. I ended up deleting my accounts off of those sites, because it wouldn't matter what I said on there, I'm not gonna meet people without a picture and being an anonymous guy. :bang: My friends from home throw a lot of parties and summer just started a few weeks ago, so I know I'm eventually gonna get with girls but that doesn't help my cause =X The only place I do show my face is that crazy site manroulette (I know stupid). But I'm not a guy who just goes on there to whack off I actually try and talk to people on there. I actually met someone from my town on there and then the computer went crazy and I lost him and have been really upset ever since. I know thats a bad site to be on but I feel like I can meet people there bc if their on the site, then their def gay or curious and if your cam is on theres no hiding who you are. IDK my mind is going crazy basically I need help coming out to people, and more importantly the gay unit because I can never meet a guy when I'm home if I don't show my true self. Advice/comments? =D sorry if I sound whiny but this is my first post in afew weeks and a lotta shit went down.
As for your gay friend: cmon, he will not think you are hitting on him, and it's no different whether he has a new bf or not. I think you are just making excuses. He will know that coming out is a huge deal for you, and will support you. You can at least do this first step, right? And to meet others, to actually see them in person, try to go to parties, get-togethers, clubs, sport groups, whatever. Maybe your friend (which you have now come out to ) or his bf knows lots of other gay/bi guys...can include you in parties, etc.
The main issue seems to be meeting other gay/bi guys. Have you considered coming out at work or would that be out of the question? Your workplace is a good social place to meet other people too even dating wise if the company doesn't have a policy against it. It's a long shot but hey, it can't hurt to try. =/ Or go to a local college LGBT event/party in your county or in jersey if you can find one. ^the advice above works well too. Your gay friend can include you in his gay circle of friends. If by chance you ever find a way to find a bf without actually coming out, then fill me in on it too! lol We need to break this equation: Closeted=No Same-sex dating :tears:
I would come out at work, but I'm a lifeguard and I just got this job. It's not that as much as right now I work at different pools, and I just got a pool that I'm pretty consistently at and made a few friends...but this is just for the summer. Their all straight there (except the manager is a les). Their all around my age, but at the other pools some of the guards are as young as 15. On my first day one of the kids said to another (with me in the convo bc he obv. didn't think I was gay or bi or anything) that if he ever saw gay things happening in his school he would run the other way -___-. So work isn't really an option, and I'm not for scaring off my new friends by telling them this bit of info. And I go to a lot of parties but its hard for me to just like idk hit on a guy, its just weird lol.
Pretend you are flirting with a girl? Maybe that would work :lol: I'm figuring if you put too much thought into it, then it'll make it more awkward. Just talking to them is enough, who needs to flirt?! Small talk can get the ball rolling too xD TBH I have never flirted with a guy before either. I have never even thought about flirting with a guy. I have only and still only flirt with girls even though I am pretty sure I am gay because it's fun to toy with people. I'm so bad
I honestly think you just need to give yourself more time to get more comfortable with the whole idea of "being bisexual" and people knowing. It is a bit more complicated, but you just need to give yourself time. I know the first time I came out to my friends I told them that "Yes, I like guys but I'm not ready to talk about it, or rate them, or go guy shopping with you guys" and it actually took me a while to get used to doing all of that with my friends. As for the other stuff. I say go ahead and come out to your gay friend. The only thin holding you back is of course fear, but just go for it. He won't think any of it other than you coming out to him. Also, if you do come out to him, he is your BEST way to start getting to know other gay guys. The good thing about the LGBT community is we are such a tight community that people just sort of start knowing every gay in the area, which is great.
