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Mom's reaction to NY gay marriage legislation

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by theWorldisYours, Jun 25, 2011.

  1. theWorldisYours

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    So gay marriage is now legal in NY! I'm proud to be a New Yorker. My mom however is not. I'm going to come out this summer, I've already decided that much. But after this gay marriage law has been passed I discovered that my mom is more homophobic than I previously thought. She has shaken her head in disapproval during every news segment regarding the new legislation. She has even disapproved on how a gay couple shown on the news adopted children, saying "I can't believe they adopted kids".

    I need some advice on how to come out to homophobic parents.

    Has anyone else noticed opinions regarding the NY legislation?
     
  2. ballin1718

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    I'm in the same boat...my mom "says" she is okay with gay marriage but in reality her, and our extended family is like disgusted by it!

    I want to come out this summer to but its such a setback noww!!! My aunt called today to tell us that she thinks the world is going to end now because Jesus has to be really pissed. This is what old school italians think lolol

    But if your parents love you they'll respect what you are I'm sure they do, your mom probably just really doesn't realize your gay. One day all the 40 somethings will be 80 and we'll be the 40 somethings who are accepting.

    Parents have grown up a way of thinking, and most parents arent gonna except gays so easy because they arent gay themselves. My aunt thinks the worlds gonna end now for christ sake!! haha one day mann one dayy...
     
  3. TheRoof

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    New Yorker here too :grin:
    I came out to my mom about 2 years ago. She did not take it very well, and she still is, in parts, struggling with the fact that I'm gay.
    In fact, just today, we were talking about NY same sex marriage thing, and she bluntly told me that she really hated the idea of me being gay, but she is somewhat okay with it now.
    I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter how much your parents initially don't like the idea of their children being gay or lesbians or whatever, there is a strong chance that they'll end up accepting the fact.
    By the way, all of my acquaintances and friends flooded facebook feed with approval and celebratory statuses about NY same sex marriage :slight_smile: That made me feel all fuzzy and nice inside xD
     
  4. dumbblondedoe

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    I know how you feel, while i do not live in NY my parents are the same way. I am torn between getting drunk off my ass n telling them, or just telling them with the i dont care what you think attitude. Honestly I am not entirely sure either. I am happy that NY passed the gay marriage legislation. I am hoping that the rest of the states follow suit as well.
     
  5. acd92

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    Well, yeah, my mom is exactly the same way, she loudly professed that she is happy for the LGBT community and for the step that New York has taken, but she still refuses to accept the fact that her own son is bisexual...apparently, male bisexuals just don't exist. So, either I'm gay or I...don't exist. Sad stuff...
     
  6. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Most homophobes are only homophobes out of ignorance and not because they truly hate gay people.

    Normally, when someone comes out to their family, they start breaking all of the stereotypes from the very beginning. Parents start thinking "but I thought gay people were blah blah blah, but he isn't so I might be wrong" and with time that makes them realize that gay people aren't as different as society makes them out to be. Some parents take days to come around and some take years, but most do end up becoming accepting and supportive.

    That being said, I think the best way to come out to your parents is by having a support network before you start coming out. It makes it a lot easier for you and you can go to them if things get hard to deal with. Have you thought about coming out to a friend before you come out to your family?
     
  7. theWorldisYours

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    Just came out to my best friend last night! I plan to come out to the rest of my friends, and my sister before I tell my mom.
     
  8. comeonref

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    Congrats!