can someone please educate me on bisexuality. i feel like everyone who is still in denial about their sexuality says they are bi. i mean, im guilty of that too. and i always hear bisexuals saying, "well im bi, but i lean towards..(whatever gender they are)". are there true bisexual people? im not trying to piss anyone off. i honestly want to read your comments and experiences with loving both genders. please educate me! :help:
Bisexuality just means an attraction to both genders. It does not mean 50/50 attraction. It does not mean polygamy. It does not mean you need both to be 'satisfied' It simply means youre attracted to both, and can see yourself in a relationship with either
If you are up for it, there is a pretty interesting documentary caled "Bi The Way" Its not perfect by far and it really doesn't have a conlusion, but its pretty good at making you think more about it. Its also interesting to hear people's stories. [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmOYg3IP4eU[/YOUTUBE] Edit: the whole documentary can be found on logo.
'Relationships' have nothing to do with sexuality. If there's a discrepancy between what you're attracted to and what you feel you could be in a relationship with, that's a psychological issue, not a sexuality one.
This comment about relationships intrigues me a bit. See I myself came out as gay due to the fact that I enjoy both sexual and romantic relationships with men. However, I still due have sexual "relationships" with women also but, can never see myself in a romantic relationship with a women. And that isnt because thats what I think that is brought from years and years of experience. I really want to hear what other people have to say about this. Maybe im bi not gay??? Labels bother me anyhow so that doesnt matter much as far as myself is concerned.
A relationship, by almost all credible definitions, is a connection between two or more entities. In order for a relationship to be mutual, all involved members must be comfortable with the type of proposed relationship. As someone said, there are sexual relationships, but, if you read up a bit on what a sexual relationship is, you'll find the answer to its true meaning always comes back to its title; sexual relationship. **EDIT** The relevance of this post to you will be subject to your personal distinction between 'relationships' and 'emotion'. If you take relationships as a potentially exlusively physical connection, then I suppose my rant is completely void. The point I was getting to is that there are many variables that influence what type of relationship a person may be comfortable forming. Sometimes this may mean that the type of mutual relationships that you might 'allow' yourself to become apart of, don't match up with the type of person you're attracted to, e.g their gender. I'm not trying to degrade anyone that has this sexual / relationship discrepancy, such bias are present in everyone in some form, from complex things like fear of societal alienation (a potential reason why many semi-closeted homo/bi/pansexual may at times in their lives only/partially feel comfortable being in relationships with the opposite gender as opposed to both/similar genders of which they are attracted), to simple things like your personal preference in personalities. I was just saying that it's important to separate relationships with sexual attraction, and they're two very different things affected by very different variables. Finally, as far more personal opinion which may be offensive to others (I apologise in advance), but I have found that when it comes to pan/bisexual individuals, the gradient between sexual attraction and relationship potential is often far greater, and also more subject to change as the individual grows and changes in life. A common example is pan/bisexual individuals that earlier in life, prefer to date opposite sex people as opposed to same sex, despite a contradictory sexual attraction distribution, a bias that may both change or remain. Such discrepancies between relationship portentiality and sexuality have resulted in terms like 'homoromantic' 'heteroromantic' etc, as stated by Pseudojim, which help provide a better margin between the 'actuality' and definitive 'potentiality' of relationships between individuals.
Sexual attraction isnt black and white. It isnt that you either like boys or like girls. Its more complex than that. We like to put everything in to neat little categories but these categories rarely suffice. Is it so hard to believe that some people are ambivalent about Marmite?
Once again sexuality becomes difficult, as it's hard to differentiate between physical gratification and attraction. To put this into perspective for you, and to harshly objectify humans, if sexuality was determined by what you enjoy having sexual interaction with, then new definitions would have to be commonly used so as to include ones own hand (duh ) and toys etc, e.g bestiality. Are you actually attracted to the women, or do you just enjoy having sex with them? Personally, I have had sex with women in the past, and likely will do so again in the future. I enjoy it, it gets me off (literally), but I'm not attracted to them at all. They just supply a degree of physical gratification, and hoping that I'm not quite as selfish as this appears, I do what I can to supply as much physical gratification to the woman as well. My distinction between attraction, relationship potentiality and gratification has led me to self identify as: Homo-sexual Homo-romantic Pan-appeaseable. Depending on what motivates your 'sexual relationships' with woman, I suppose you you might be Bi/Homo-sexual, homo-romantic and pan/bi-appeasable. In reality, the amount that people break down sexuality into attraction, relationship potentiality and gratification varies a lot, and thus sexuality has many different interpretations. Ultimately, it doesn't matter either way, as all three factors, individually and collectively; can only be satisfied by individual people, not generalised categories.
As I put it in another thread, it's as if someone told me I had to choose between steak and salmon and once I chose, I could never have the other. It just doesn't make sense to me. And for me, sexuality is closely tied to gender roles. I have suppressed feminine aspects of myself because I have felt forced to choose between the masculine and the feminine. But now that I have accepted both my desire for the male of the species and my connection to the feminine (both in terms of outward expression and emotionally), my life feels like it has the balance that had been missing for so many years. As I also mentioned, in between complete heterosexuality and completely homosexuality there seems to be this big grey area, or spectrum if you will, of people who are going to "lean" more gay and people who are going to lean more hetero. I imagine there's everything from 99 percent gay and 1 percent hetero all the way on over to the other end of the spectrum. For me, I feel both gay and straight, if that makes any sense. In spite of the fact that I am happily married to a woman, the gay part of me doesn't feel any less significant a part of me. So, it seems to me that one definition of bisexuality is kind of impossible. At least in the sense that my experience of it may be shared by others and it may not be. I don't know. Maybe it's like snowflakes or fingerprints, where everyone is just a little bit different. But that's speaking as someone who's 41. It seems entirely natural to me for someone who's in their teens to be simply exploring sexuality, just as teenagers explore everything else in life. So, some will learn that they are gay, some hetero, and others in between. Because I think sexuality is one of those parts of life that you don't just sit and think about and then make a decision on. It's something you learn about by experience, by exploration. Less like learning through a lecture or reading a textbook and more like the process of opening a Christmas present and finding out what's inside.
Walking down a street, I see many girls I think are hot and would like to hit on. But then at the end of the block I see a really hot guy as well and react the exact same. Being in a relationship with either one would make me happy. Thus, I'm bi but lean more towards girls. I see my twenties as a time to let go and have fun, even though I see myself ending up with a woman. If I end up with a guy though, that would be cool too even though I don't see it as as likely.
