when i come out, should i only state that i am a lesbian, or should i also mention i have a girlfriend? ive had a girlfriend for over a year now.. but we have kept our relationship a secret. my family knows my girlfriend, but they think we are just friends. and i really doubt my family will be okay with the idea of me dating her. they all like her, but she is a bit older than me. so should i just spill everything in the beginning? or keep my gf a secret a bit longer and then tell them later? i dont know which way would be better. thoughts?
id sayyy it depends on your family (and how much older she is). if you think their gonna be accepting that your a lesbian, then you might as well say you guys are dating because its gonna be said eventually. in all honesty if your going to come out anyway, you might as well just lay it all on the line and tell it like it is. good luck!! =)
I'd agree. I mean, you really have to feel out the situation, and it sounds like it's really hard to keep your sexuality a secret anymore. So, if you're going to come out and tell them you're a lesbian, you might as well tell them about your girlfriend while you're at it. If they accept you coming out, they really should be accepting of your relationship as well. Best of luck to you! I hope everything goes as well as it can!
I agree. You should see how they take it first when you come out. But since you are going to come out and tell them, you may as well tell them everything up front and not hide anything from them where they may find out from someone else. Good luck to you.
so i should just come out, and if they take it fairly well, i shud just kinda throw it in there that im dating her? another option is coming out.. and not mentioning her unless they ask. (i can see them asking.. me and her have a very close friendship, and i can tell they get suspicious)
You could come out first and then don't tell them (unless they ask) at first. Just give them time to absorb the information. And then later you can go ahead and tell them that you guys are dating.
I think it depends how the coming out goes, but if they ask you I wouldnt lie as then they will think you are hiding things.
To come out whilst saying you've been in a relationship for a while must already be an added difficulty to coming out in the first place. That being said, I would've thought that given the nature of what you're going to do, I would've suggested that not mentioning your girlfriend until either giving your family time to deal with the news or unless they ask, given how suspicious you said they might already be. Whatever you decide to do, good luck with everything.
DON'T TELL THEM!!! Especially if they are not too accepting of gay people (so it depends on the situation). Come out but don't tell them that you have a gf until a little while later. You tell them about your gf after they have some time to cope with the fact that you are a lesbian. The last thing you want your parents to think is that your gf "converted" and "changed" you into a lesbian.
I personally think only tell them if they ask. I mean I don't know how your parents will react, but I almost feel as though telling them that you not only are a lesbian but have a girlfriend might be too much? I mean if they ask, sure, because you should not lie to them if they actually ask, but if they don't, stick with the lesbian thing and bring in the girlfriend topic after some time.
