In Person Or Email?

I would say which ever you are more comfortable with; since he came out in an email I would say it is fine for you to do the same when telling him if you would rather.

 

Okay, well first of all, I hope you know you're not alone in your struggles. Although I've come out to quite a few people, I'm absolutely terrified about finishing a conversation with my mother about it...gahhh....I'd be interested in hearing more about your appointment with the psychologist, because I was considering seeing one when school starts up again just so I can really sort through my feelings and emotions and everything. It's funny, there used to be a period of time where every morning, before I left my room, I'd look in the mirror and say, "Hi. I'm Anthony. And I'm bisexual. And that's okay." I know it sounds really corny, but it really helped me come to terms with things. As for your gay friend coming, I honestly don't think you have too much to worry about, it really just depends on how anxious you are. If you really want him to know before he arrives, I'd say go for the email! But if you're more comfortable and you really want to talk it out with him, doing things in person is obviously more...personal. So I guess it really depends on your anxiety and comfort level. Welcome to EC, by the way! I hope this helped!

 

Like it was mentioned already, go with whatever feels more comfortable to you. There is no perfect way to come out and it all depends on the relationship that you have with the person and however you feel better doing it. If you feel more comfortable by email then go ahead and do it. The important thing is that you do it Plus, he is gay himself so he will understand perfectly all the emotions that you feel right before you come out to someone.

Best of luck and congrats on taking the step of talking with your psychologist

 

I think it depends on if you just want them to know, or you have things to discuss.

The very first person I told, I told in person, but that was because I wanted to discuss it and get the feelings all out. It wasn't easy, and I spilled my drink all over myself trying to say it. It was a conversation that lasted more than an hour.

After that it was e-mails, that came a few months later though, and by that time I didn't feel I had anything to discuss, I just wanted to let them know. E-mails are good, if kept short. You can get the words out you need to, and let the other person have a bit of time to digest it.

It sounds like you'll want to discuss it and not just inform, and that's good. Saying everything you feel about it is healthy and you'll feel a lot better after it. Perhaps start it off with the short e-mail, and then sit down in person when you're ready and have a talk.

 

my policy is to always come out in person.

 

First off. In your post you mentioned that you had a rough time accepting it. If you haven't yet figured out what is going on, you need to do that before you consider coming out. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I was gay, and I couldn't have came out until I was completely accepting of and comfortable with what I was.

As for the coming out, I came out the other day for the first time, to my best friend over e-mail. I always wanted to tell him in person, but I just couldn't get myself to do it. So one Night after I couldn't gather the courage to tell him in person, I just sent him an e-mail right when I got home. You can search my post to find the e-mail I sent, along with his reaction. It felt great. He was soo accepting, and the following day we talked about it in person. Coming out through e-mail made it so much easier for me to actually say the words. I was also able to get everything I wanted to out to him. I think the fact that I came out over e-mail also gave him time to digest it and come to terms with it. The next day he had a ton of questions, and we had a three hour long conversation about it.

The bottom line, sometimes we plan ideal scenarios for when we come out, and that doesn't always work out. If your having trouble just spitting out what you need to say, just send an e-mail. It's so much easier, and it gives both parties time to gather themselves before an actual conversation.

 

theWorldisYours is absolutely right about being entirely comfortable with yourself and sexuality before coming out to anyone. I came out to various people over Facebook about being gay, when I was still in the motions of sexual confusion.

Now I'm still gay, but if I had been straight, it would've been difficult to have explained otherwise, when giving people a different idea about who you are.

Anyway, assuming you still want to tell someone personally or through other means of contact, do whatever you feel comfortable with and prefer. I usually prefer Internet contact, but telling them in person can also be great too. Since it's your first coming out, e-mail would probably be easier, but as time goes on, maybe you can admit it to others face to face.

Good luck with everything.

 

In an ideal world I would like to come out to people to their face but im really bad at these kind of things and so I know I wouldnt be able to do it or I would make a mess of it, so I have come out to most people through emails or messages, I think if they are a true friend then they will understand, coming out is difficult so I dont see any problem with coming out by email, at least then once he gets there he will already know the situation.

 

Yeah I personally like to come out in person better, because then you get to see their reaction and have a heart to heart conversation with them. That's just my preference. It IS harder, but I just feel like its the best way to do it. I did come out to one person by letter, and that went pretty well. I think it all depends on the situation and the person. I think that since this is the first person you are discussing this with then you should maybe come out in person, just so you can discuss stuff. That's what I would do.