I need advice!!

I am now 17 and a rising senior in High School. I've had a lot of troubles growing up. Up until the 4th grade my life was pretty perfect. That was until my mom got cancer. She died when I was in the sixth grade. The next day (after my moms death) my dad started online dating. I guess he was freaking out that the security of the relationship he had with my mom was gone. Anyway he met this girl and after dating 2 weeks he proposed. Later on, one Sunday morning I was dressed in a pretty Sunday church dress. I was out looking to ask him a question and I saw his face in the car up on the street. So I walked out there to him. His face was sweeting and he didnt look good. When I got there he looked like he was about to collapse. I ran inside and we called the ambulance. He had taken 60 of my moms medication. If I hadnt found him then he would have died. (My stepmom took credit of finding him to this day) Any way I go to a Christian school. I will not bore you with other facts about my life but the other thing that I can't talk about with other people is that I am bisexual. I live in the south and go to a babptist school..and they can kick me out of school if they were to ever find out. Ive had this secret for 6 years and its driving me crazy. Its starting to trigger panic attacs even.
There is a girl that I have liked for the past year. She seems to like me because we are friends but we are not close friends because we both seem nerious around each other. I want to tell her but I dont think I could ever.

 

I'm am genuinely really sorry about everything. I can't imagine what that must feel like.
*cyber hug* (*hug*)

As for this girl, I personally wouldn't just spring it on her. Do you know her very well? Due to where you are, you probably want to be sure that she wouldn't go and tell anyone you didn't want to know. I would try and find out her views on homo/bisexuality first, just incase- I'm not sure what things are like over there. Her nervousness could mean that she likes you back, or she might just be shy, so watch her and see if she gets awkward at particular times when you're together.

You also said that you get panick attacks. Is that due to worrying about people finding out, or something else entirely? There must be someone close to you who you could speak too? If not, everyone here will be happy to help and up for a chat. Hopefully that's helped, even if it's just made you feel like someone's listening. Good luck with everything.