cute guys - is it attraction?

everyone has that at some point, its like you find puppies/kittens cute but dont wana have sex with em, well its not exactly like tht but you can think somets cute w/o wanting to sleep with it and tht doesnt alter ur sexuality.

 

I'm going through pretty much the same thing right now. I think I might be attracted to girls, but I discovered earlier this year that in many cases, I wasn't sexually attracted to them, I simply admired them. I still find it hard to tell the difference now, but I know a relationship with a girl just wouldn't work out with me, and I can't even see myself pursuing one. Women have made advances on me in the past, and my immediate reaction was to turn them down. Even still, I call myself bisexual, because I'm still trying to figure out the feelings I...er, feel.

 

I find girls cute all the time.
And I'll kiss them when I'm drunk..
But I'd still call myself gay

 

Exactly the same here ! all 5 posts

 

I can appreciate a guy is attractive, but I wouldn't want to see him naked or get involved with him.

 

I'd have to agree with Pirateninja. I can tell when a guy is attractive and appreciate it, but it doesn't do anything for me. I wouldn't want to kiss him or get involved with him or anything.

It is hard to define the difference between attraction and admiration/appreciation. However, even if you were attracted to a guy it doesn't necessarily mean you would want anything more than a close friendship. I guess you have to ask yourself what kind of attraction you are feeling if that makes any sense.

Trust me its not bizarre, I thought the same thing at first, when I realized I could look at guys and think they were attractive. I eventually realized, I just appreciated their attractiveness, not that I would want a relationship with them.

 

You do kind of have to think:

"Right, I think that guy's attractive, but could I see myself in a relationship with that particular person?" or words to thant effect.

If you can't answer a solid yes or no, then you maybe have to ask yourself other questions revolving around the same idea. Just try to establish in what sense that you think people are attractive and how you feel about that particular person. Sometimes it may be easier to write down certain feelings and then to look over them rather than make sense of them in just your mind.

I hope this helps!

 

I read somewhere that 70% of straight people get crushes on someone of the same gender during their life. So why would it be different for gay people. I'm not even sure I believe there is such a thing as gay or straight or bi.. just love.

 

I agree with that.

 

everyones basically got it covered here, you can definately appreciate someones looks, and as for wanting to be close to them, for the cuddling and the hugging and evyerhting, that could be alot of things. sometimes you are just that close to a person, its a security thing, a sense of being safe and comfortable with someone. its not sexual. in my opinion.

 

Really, I think you develop these problems of trying to figure out attractions because everyone attempts to classify themselves into certain labels be it homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual. I went to a talk recently where the speaker said that sexuality is much more fluid than a lot of people think. A lot of people in their life, as had been said before in this past, exhibit some sort of attractions to members of the same and opposite sex.

I've been in relationships with girls, but am in my first relationship with guys. So I guess at some level I'm definitely attracted to girls, but also attracted to guys, yet I'm not calling myself bisexual just because I'm not really trying to be categorized yet. I'm going to go where my attractions take me and be satisfied with that. You might want to try this kind of philosophy, just go where your heart and attractions take you. If you think guys are cute, and you find yourself wanting something more, then let it go even if you know that at some level you like women. Perhaps the guys you are attracted to are just /that/ type of guy, this one type you like a lot.

Just let yourself go, don't think too deeply on things, I think that might just complicate it.

 

Rules of attraction? There are none. I'm bi and I find alot of people attractive. The challenging part is finding someone BEYOND the initial attraction. I find myself attracted to lots of guys superficially but very few once you get to the talking stage. With women, I find I allow for ALOT more latitude. With guys I find myself thinking in certain types, preferences. With women, not so much the case (though that's not to say that I'm not discriminating). It's not entirely explicable; I prefer to think of it more as a method to my madness that only I understand. And in the end, like the saying goes, beauty's in the eye of the beholder. :icon_wink
Keep searching and keep true to yourself and you'll ultimately find what you're looking for. :icon_bigg
Now if only I could heed my own advice.... hmmmmmmmmmm. :dry:

 

I completely agree with the word fluid to describe it. It's like string theory will use strings rather than points to describe the universe. It might be more complicated, but it makes more sense.

A philosophy I subscribe to.

 

Of course the 2 or 3 dimensional view on sexuality will just further complicate things. The way I see it is that we don't really know much more than when we though the sun revolved around the earth. Obviously theoretical physics has come a long way since then, but we're still a long way from a fundimental theory of everything.

 

lol even perfectly straight you can dislike the genitals, i mean cmon, theres nothing pretty about THAT

 

It does sound possible, and in that case it is probably your own choice what to call yourself. You can say that because you have a level of attraction to some guys, that you will call yourself bisexual tending towards homosexual, or you can decide that since you feel you don't want to have sex with guys, that you will call yourself homosexual.

Sexuality is not just three states, it is more a spectrum, with the three words representing where your particular point on the spectrum (ignoring that fact that for some people they shift) tends towards. Although you do not choose where on the spectrum you are, you CAN choose what to label yourself as; whichever you feel most comfortable with.

Personally I am attracted to girls (the opposite sex) more than guys (the same sex). Although there are some guys who I find attractive, the majority I don't really. It is rare that I end up fantasizing about a guy at all. I could have called myself straight, bicurious , bisexual, or whatever I wanted. I decided that I wanted to call myself bisexual, because I feel most comfortable with that label, and I identify well with other people who call themselves bisexual. Hence that is what I call myself.

As for what label is best for you; I truly believe only you can decide that. But be aware, it is a CHOICE, and as such does not commit you to acting or feeling in a specific way. Good luck!

Dizzy