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Is it worth the trouble?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Tiny Catastrophe, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. Tiny Catastrophe

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    I've been thinking about this for a long time but I really don't know if it will do more harm than good. I'm out to pretty much my entire family with the exception of only a few people, my grandma being one of them. Now I don't know who's seen the thread I posted a few weeks back about one of the many fights we have gotten into about homosexuality and the bible and blah blah blah. This is the thread if anyone is curious http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/47741-ignorance-infuriates-me.html. My grandma says a lot of hurtful things when we get in these arguments and she has no idea that she's really attacking me. She also has a double standard regarding homosexuality. She has no problem that my mom's best friend is gay and she absolutely loves him and when I had pointed out that he's gay she responded with "Well what he does is none of my business.". I then said "Well what if someone in our family was gay, what would you do then?" to which she said "I honestly don't know but I don't think anyone in our family is like that." (the way she said "that" made it sound like some horrible disease). So basically what I'm asking is if I should bother coming out to her or not. I feel like she'll look down on me (even more then she already does since I didn't finish high school) and treat me differently. My grandma and I have a pretty close relationship and talk about pretty much everything but when it comes to homosexuality it's just a really bad topic. I really don't know what I should do. Any advice would be appreciated.
     
  2. roborama

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    wooowww im soo in the same boat as you right now, almost to a T. its your decision whether or not to come out to her but be careful and good luck. hopefully it goes well for both of us :slight_smile:
     
  3. Foxywolf

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    It really depends on if you want to and if NOT coming out to her is affecting you negatively. If coming out to her would cause more problems then it would solve then I wouldn't bother.

    Lucky for me, my whole extended family lives on an entirely different Continent, so I am probably not even going to bother telling them I am gay, they don't even know who my friends are, so why should I tell them who my lover is (when I find someone)?
     
  4. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Its really up to you to figure out if its worth it.

    Ask yourself what you want to get out of coming out to your grandma first and then see if its something that you want to happen or not. If its something that you really want then go for it and see what happens :slight_smile:

    Its definitely a hard decision to make. Right now I know I want to come out to my grandparents, but I know that if they don't react well to it then my parents will be beyond hurt about it and that is what is stopping me right now. That and the fact that my parents want me to wait until my sister graduates xD

    Good luck with whatever you decide :slight_smile:
     
  5. ihkcs

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    that's a hard one. sometimes i like to simplify these issues by relating them to everyday things.
    for example... if your grandma had gray hair that you were unaware of cuz she always dyed it black, and you were constantly making fun of people with gray hair, wouldn't you want to know that her hair was truly gray so that you weren't offending her?

    sometimes that helps to put it in perspective and let go of the emotional stuff we attach to our coming out process.
    maybe it's a bad strategy, but it tends to work for me most of the time