I've been going out with my Boyfriend for just over 4 months now and were both out (him more so than me, - I just operate a don't tell unless asked sorta thing- ) to our friends but not to our parents. I've sort of touched on the subject when it's been in the news or on tv with my mum and she has always reacted negatively so far as to saying "you would be a bit upset if you found out your child was gay" and as for my dad and his side Of the family they take the stereotypical black standpoint of rejecting and demonising homosexuality as well as making homophobic slurs whenever the topic comes up. Anyway that's me and my reasons for not coming out, at the moment while I'm still living at home I wouldn't come out. For my boyfriend his parents are really liberal and he says they'd be fine, probably really welcoming if he came out as gay but he says he's just not had the time and not gotten round to it. Which is understandable, it's a big thing. But he's been 'out' since he was 13, and so had a lot of time xD. It's got to the point in our relationship where I want to spend more time with him just chilling out and not going out drinking/ with friends. Plus our friends are a bit tired of us being so coupley when we're with them. So I don't know what to do, many of our friends have told him to just come out and i want him to but I haven't said it as it's a massive ask and a big burden on me if it doesn't all go swimmingly. At the same time it's annoying not being invited round when he invites other people invade his parents cotton-on to anything. But yeah, I dont know what to do. Do I say something to him or just accept the position that we're both in with regards to our home lives and make the best of it?
Never make assumptions, and don't expect a reaction without action! The reality is, ask and communicating with your BoyF will always be the more productive thing to do. That said, whenver you act, it's always best to be prepared for the worst possible outcome! So IMO, talk, communicate, be honest and accept. Who knows what could happen, it might be amazing!
Definitely talk to your BF about this. Without communication, relationships suffer, and if you feel it would be beneficial for him to be out, you might want to bring it up. Obviously, you don't want to say "You should come out to your parents," but talk to him about your feelings and ask him what he thinks. Maybe he'll come to the same conclusion, and maybe he'll find an entirely different and usable one! You never know without communication, so take the time to talk to him about this!
First of, welcome to EC! Definitely communicate to him that you wish to spend more time with him and see if you guys can come up with a solution, but don't push the idea that him coming out would be the best solution. While it might in fact be the best solution, coming out its something that should be decided by the person and not because someone else is pressuring you into it. Yes, he might actually go a head and come out just for you, but if his parents react badly then he might also blame the bad reactions on you. Also, the fact that you aren't out, yet you are pressuring him to come out is, in my opinion, somewhat hypocritical. Why can't you go over his house, though? Couldn't you go over as just another of his friends?
