So I'm bisexual and I have been since 2009 when I was 12 turning 13. I've kept it hidden for a year and today it all came out. My bisexual cousin and my straight cousin were with me and they were FORCING me to tell my mom because she didn't know. So then me and my cousins started talking about me being bi while my mom was working and she paused and she said "Ok let me hear what you guys are talking about." And then my cousin--the bisexual one--said "Why would you keep it hidden? My family already knew." (I told my bi cousins mom i'm bi on facebook a few months ago so thats how she knew and then i told my bi cousin last week on Oovoo chat.) So then my cousin said "If you are it you wouldn't be ashamed to say it and you'd be proud of it." And I said "I am" and she said "No you not." Then my mom says "What you're gay?" Laughing I said "I'm bisexual." "My bi cousin chimes in and says "How long have you known it?" (I told both of them so thats how she knew) And I said "Well..." And then my cousin told my mom since I was 13. Then the next question was: "What made you want to be bi?" My straight cousin (who claims he hates bisexual men but touched my butt repeatedly) said "Porn?" (It really was gay porn but I lied and said bullying because kids do pick on me and call me gay a lot. My mom: "You're not gay. Everybody influenced him." My bi cousin said "When you get a girlfriend (I became bi because of gay porn and because there are no LGBT guys in my school) all thats gonna go out the window." Then my straight cousin said "Who was the first guy you ever liked?" I said "I have to go back 3 years.. I don't know." The first guy I really ever liked is named Nick Forman and he used to be in my classes in middle school and we became friends. But my straight cousin knows Nick and I am not telling my straight cousin that. After it was over I went in my room and played GTA 4. lol So did I do everything right? UGH! I wanted to tell my mom later in my life but now that's squashed. She said shes not homophobic she wants to learn more about LGBT people.
hmm i don't like the sound of your cousins very much. first of all, let me tell you that NO one has the right to be forced out of the closet. second, being proud of your sexuality can come with time, and don't let your cousin try to tell you otherwise. i guess, despite these pressuring cousins of yours, that it all worked out, since your mom is ok with it. congrats on being out to her!
There isn't a perfect way to come out. The only thing that matters is that you do and that people around you are okay with that fact. As long as you can get there then there really isn't any set rules on how to do it. Your cousins do seem like they are a bit misinformed on how sexuality works. It is more complicated than people realize, so it isn't a surprise that they don't completely get it just yet. I'm sure they were trying to help you out, but many of their comments are misleading and some just outright wrong. I just want to clear up that you NEVER became gay/bi or straight. You have always been that way and you simply discovered your attraction to guys while watching porn Its great that your mom wasn't completely phased by it, but I think its time that you start doing your own research about sexuality so you don't let your cousins thoughts about it all confuse you.
Thanks man. You're info really helped a lot, and my cousins have since come and gone from my apartment since this post--I have about 8 or 9 threads alone about the two cousins who forced me to come out, but different stories than this one--and all different things have happened in my life since this post.
Your mom seems to think that you are saying you are bi because of what other people said to you, and not because of any actual feelings you had for guys. You might want to talk to her more when you are alone, without your cousins around. That way, you could tell her about the guys you have liked in the past without your cousins hearing who they are, and then she wouldn't think that you were just believing what bullies at school had said. And you wouldn't have to tell her about porn, which would probably just make you both uncomfortable.
ok, as i was on the page before this, i noticed you got like 1000 threads going. dude. WHATS GOING ON??!!
Being a proud father of a gay son, I think that communication is very important. It sure sounds to me like you were bullied alright, but by your cousins. I don't agree with the way they forced your hand, but they did and I think that you should take the opportunity to have an uninterrupted talk with your mom. Who knows, maybe you can research together. Good luck and best wishes.
First, being around my mother for 15 years, I know that she has a tendency to be a gossiper - telling people private information. Even my abusive, now dead, father knew she was one too and he told me to my face. "Your mother's a gossiper." Also, my cousins have left us and haven't been back. We've a LOT more drama now than before, when I first came out in May. My mom's BMW got repossessed, I'm in love but can't get the words out my mouth to tell my friend (which I have a thread about), and my financially broke cousin wants us to move in with her in Newark [Newark, New Jersey; NOT England or Delaware] to her 2 bedroom apartment. She has a 19 year old son and a 6 year old with ADD. In her room, her and her 6 year old share it together, and her 19 year old son and his daughter share the other room. And she wants us to live there with her.... both me and my mom would literally be sleeping on my cousin's couches... Pros and cons: Pros: At least we can save money on rent and other things, even though both my mom and my cousin are financially broke. Cons: That means I'd have to say goodbye to the guy who I think is the love of my life, Matt--who: 1) I have a thread about here and 2) Dead serious when I call him the love of my life; I love him so much that I wrote 2 separate poems about him!--and I'd have to leave my high school, my family, friends, and my apartment I share with my mom behind. I'd have to start all over. Newark is VERY homophobic and I'm openly bi and accepted where I live now. So when we move--even if we move, because things happen to alter life's natural processes--I'd have to wait literally until I go to college to come out. ---------- Post added 8th Nov 2011 at 09:59 PM ---------- I literally went back to all my unanswered threads that people replied to me on but I never replied to when they wrote me. So that totaled about maybe fifteen threads.... but I JUST noticed that they all appear in the Support and Advice main page, even after no one answers for a long time then reanswers...
