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Scared...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by bookworm43, Jul 3, 2011.

  1. bookworm43

    bookworm43 Guest

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    Ugh I'm trembling I'm so nervous about this...so I think my friends found out I'm gay, and I think they're freezing me out. :icon_sad:

    The reason why I think they know is because I had my friend over a few days ago (I'll refer to her as S), and were were hanging out in my room, and she noticed that I had a newspaper on my desk. She said, "You read the newspaper?" I said, "No, but I kept this one 'cause it was an awesome day." It was the paper from the day New York legalized gay marriage, and that was the front cover. She asked, "Do you believe in it?" And I was like, "Yeah." And she said, "Yeah, me too." So you can see why I wouldn't worry about this exchange, until know.

    I've been texting several of my friends all day and yesterday, but they won't respond, except for two. The first one, she was super awkward and it took her, like, ten minutes to respond to each text. The second, who happened to be S, was also really awkward, and when I called her, I she asked, "Um, why are you calling me..?" And I told her 'cause it was quicker than texting. Then I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies with me, and she said, "Umm, I can't today..." and she's generally less awkward than that. What if she's suddenly wierded out now, if she thinks I'm gay? Does that even make sense if she's ok with gay marriage??

    I'm afraid that all of my friends not talking to me is pointing to this one explanation. I mean, what are the odds that all my friends don't have their phones available at the same time, when they're all obsessed with their phones and texting?

    I may be wrong, and I may just sound like a paranoid nut, but I'm really scared about this. If you have any insight, please tell me!
     
  2. Katelynn

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    It could be that when good friends hear about something this complicated & serious, especially at your age, that they just need time to process the information. I know that I have a few friends when I was in high school that came out & told us they were gay & we (me & all my friends) all had to take a little time to just think about it. I know, for me, I was surprised, but I didn't hate them (in fact, I still talk to my friend Daryl sometimes & he's still the same guy I've always known). Give your friends a little bit of time to absorb things. It's a lot for just a person themselves to come to terms with who they are, so it's also going to be hard for others too... Big hugs from me to you!!!
     
  3. bookworm43

    bookworm43 Guest

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    thankyou! (*hug*)
     
  4. Katelynn

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    You're so welcome & you can always talk with me if you want to...
     
  5. Lexington

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    The data is pretty minimal right now. Give it some time. Remain friendly, don't panic, and things should sort themselves out. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  6. silverhalo

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    You could be right or there could be a logical explanation, sometimes friends can just need time to process the information, as Lex said it hasnt been that long. If it continues then perhaps you can talk about it but I wouldnt panic just yet.
     
  7. Foxywolf

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    They could know, but just need time to process the information. Or you could just be over analyzing everything. I know that when I am worried I tend to greatly over analyze everything. I make small things seem bigger and overthink everything and think that normal things are 'signs' of something. But that's just me.
    Either way, your friend supports gay marriage and even if she does know and feel a little awkward right now, at least you know that in the long run she will be supportive, even if it takes her a while to get used to it.