I came out a little bit later than most, I guess. So I had a lot of friendships that had been around for a good 15+ years. And, while most people have at least paid lip service to being supportive of me coming out... I've notice that invitations to do things with the "group" have sort of tapered off. To be fair, my desire to hang out with some of them has sort of tapered off too. I'm struggling with whether I make them uncomfortable, or I'm uncomfortable myself being around them. Or maybe a little of both? Anyway, it seems whenever I show up to a BBQ or something now there's a real awkwardness. Whether its generated by them or by me, I dont know. But its just not much fun. Any thoughts/advice?
Sometimes you answer your own question. I myself although not as old as you have noticed that for a little while at least I was the one being awkward and uncomfortable being myself around others. I dont know how close you actually are with these people but I went right out and asked a few friends of mine and they all seemed to agree that they were fine with everything and actually felt better once I became comfortable. I'd say let it ride and see how things go. It may take time but you will eventually be comfortable in your own skin.
Maybe the awkwardness is more about your upcoming divorce than you being gay. Are these friends also friends with your wife or just you? I remember when some of my parents' friends got divorced there was always the question of which divorced person would be at various group events. Just a thought. I'm in a little different situation where I think people assume that I'm gay (c'mon, 36, never dated a girl?) but since I haven't talked about it there might be an awkwardness about that. I think they have and I know I have pulled back some over the years. Maybe we would hang out more and it would be more enjoyable if I officially came out and it was in the open, or maybe not. Do you have any gay friends, either new ones or ones you knew before coming out?
