Ok so i dont think you can totally give me a good opinion without having a little bit of background on me. I will try to keep it to a minimum. I am under the impression that i was molested when i was younger. I dont remember it, but i do know that when the time of my first sexual experimentation occurred, age 9, i did some things that a 9 year old little boy just doesnt conceive. As time continued i always knew that i had an attraction to males, but it was never an option for me. I lived in a very religious household so that was no bueno. It was in the 5th grade that i actually had what u could call a gay relationship, though it was not really open. A friend of mine at the time asked if i had every wondered what it was like to be gay. We then proceeded to play the you show me yours then i will show you mine and things led to another and it ended up me coming over every weekend where we would watch porn and either masturbate or hump each other. I was absolutely terrified i would get a boner in the showers while in middle school. So now you have a brief background and we get to the brunt of the problem. I have finally come to terms with the fact that i am attracted to men after years of suicidal intentions and what seemed like me tearing myself apart. As a Christian i could not except the way that i felt and yet what felt like another half of me said it was ok. So i have lead a wonderful 19 years of life trying to hide and praying that i wouldnt be found out. Here lies my problem, I have tried dating girls and it just never really worked out... i have commitment issues i think. I just recently broke up with yet another girlfriend. While we were together i would get hard while we were kissing, but i never really wanted to kiss her. I always got really fidgety and didnt really want to but did because i knew she expected it. Does this make me Straight or could i simply just be reacting to the physical tongue on my tongue? I have entertained the idea of being gay and see no problem with it other than my parents never talking to me again. I never really think about having sex with women. I could more easily see myself sleeping with a man than a woman. Yet I still have feelings for women, while i have never really had a crush on a man. HELP ME PLEASE? My best friend just recently cam out to me and i had already considered telling him before so i went ahead and told him i was Bi but i leaned way more towards men. Now i am reevaluating the statement and wondering if it is true am i really like that or is it just some other things. I think that i am gay,not Bi, but i guess i am just trying to stop myself out of it. Thank you so much for any input.
Welcome to EC. I know where you come from, so I'll give you the best advice I can from my experiece. There are a few things to think about when trying to figure out your sexuality. One of the most important things is to seperate relationships that were based on friendships from relationships that were based on attraction. Your sexuality is determined by which gender turns you on. You mentioned how you think you were turned on by the tongue to tongue and not your girlfriend herself. That is a definite possibility. The fact that you never really wanted to kiss her is pretty telling. On of the famous EC quotes is "The proof is in the porn." What it means is that what kind of porn you "utilize" is very telling of your sexuality. Do you masturbate to girls? Guys? Both? Which one(s) turn(s) you on? You don't need to answer these questions; their just points to get you thinking. One of the things that was most confusing to me when I was confused about my sexuality was that I had been in deep relationships with a few girls. Going back to separating relationships, keep in mind that it's possible to become really good friends with a person of a gender that you aren't attracted to. It's even possible for these friendships to become so good that they transcend gender and evolve into quasi-relationships. Be wary of those when you are trying to figure out your sexuality. I hope I helped you in some way. Good luck figuring this all out.
When i feel ,for lack of a better word, attraction for a girl, its not really on a sexual level... i think. I feel for them on an emotional level. That is what i think makes my heart flutter sometimes when a girl admits she likes me. I want to be loved, and i want them to be loved in return. Though when you really get down to it i just cant see myself having sex with any of them. I would see them as to good of a friend. And then once we get past all this we get into the religious reasons why i just dont know. But i cant help but think that i really dont think that God would hate me for the way i am.
Personally, I don't think much about my orientation. Although I've figured out that I am bi through it, I suggest you do the same. You look at guys or girls whenever u want or whatever u feel like looking at whenever you want. Dont have a thought in your mind that is telling you "I'm straight I shouldn't be looking at him" because thats when you'll start to hate yourself and your feelings. And whos more important, you... or your parents? You are. So you take yourself first and your parents secondly. You look after yourself and you do what you want, don't even worry about what they're going to think. If they're not going to love you because of your orientation they're a bunch of twats, if they're real parents they will support you. Hope I helped.
That's how I feel as well. The lack of sexual attraction could mean that you're gay. I won't say that it does for certain, because I don't know you personally. Also, God would not hate you for being the way you are. God does not hate anyone. The only people she dislikes are people who judge people like you.
There's always alot of confusion and questioning about sexual orientation. I think that people are just built to want to be loved and to love, and that can be confusing emotionally. Add that fact to the fact that many people are just horny! Seriously though, people do not fit under any one catagory and there are times when people act differently then they expected to. its more what you want i think and how you feel about people rather than how you should expect to feel about them. if you feel that u are gay and have a sexual thought about a woman, its ok. don't beat yourself up over how you should feel rather than how you do feel.
Speaking from personal expierences. I consider myself gay. But I have had sex with a girl before. During kissing I would get an erection, so I could have sex with her. But during those times it just didn't feel natural to me. It was funny because she would invite me for sex and I would hesitate (which made her think I was gay)...Also when I did have sex with her I only had one goal in my head and that was to cum. I thought because I liked boys (at the same time not believing I'm gay) I wouldn't cum...so the sex wasn't that long either. I think that you get an erection because of the stimulation of nerves. But if you don't enjoy it, then most likely your with the wrong side.
Thanx so much for all the input from everyone. I have thought about it a lot the last few days, and i think i will just do whatever seems natural. At this point in time men feel natural, so i am gonna pursue a relationship with a man. If i ever feel an attraction to a woman and its quite a large one then i think i could just adjust to that. I came out to 4 of my friends and they totally excepted me!!!!!!! It was sooo freaking scary. LOLOLOL my very best friend, when i came out to him, told me that he was gay as well.
That's great! Depending on how you think your parents would react to it, you may want to keep it from them. I have a friend who just knows that his parents would freak out if they found out he was gay, so he has a pretty ok relationship with his parents, he just doesn't tell them that he is gay. It is pretty sad that he can't tell them, but he just remembers that being gay is only a small part of him, and it is not who he is. But I am so happy that you were able to get past the religious barriers and be yourself.:eusa_danc
this is the principle i live by... whatever happens, happens. however i feel, that's how i feel, and that's all there is to it. i gave up trying to figure it out... and it's easier. congrats on your coming out! and congrats to your best mate as well!
