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"Interested in..."

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by No One, Jul 7, 2011.

  1. No One

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    So I want to set my "Interested in..." to men. I have created groups to include anyone I dont want to see it, and have set it so that they can't see that specific area. These people include all my family, and anyone I fear might tell them.

    Is this a good idea?
     
  2. Just Passing

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    I'd say yes. You're coming out to people you're comfortable with seeing your profile and preventing the people you don't want to see the information, so it works out.

    Good luck with the update, I seriously need to do mine one day. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Raeil

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    Just remember that you need to make sure the privacy setting around that area are extremely secure until you're ready to be fully out. Facebook has a problem of updating things without telling their members, so you should be checking to make sure that the groups are set up correctly. Oh, and also make sure the section is set so that only certain groups can see it, rather than being set so that only certain groups can't. The latter could lead to it being seeable by people just looking at your profile who aren't friends.
     
  4. Chip

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    Given the problems you've had in the past... would it maybe be a good idea to wait at least till you're 18? If I were in your situation, I wouldn't want even the slightest chance that my parents could do something crazy like send me to straight camp or something...
     
  5. zzzero

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    That's exactly what I did. I blocked all my family members from my profile, and changed my interested in.

    It helps for when you meet new people and don't feel like having to come out. If they add you on facebook you can assume they now know you're gay. However, initially no one will look at it unless you put up a status about it. People don't generally look in the information section of people they're already friends with.
     
  6. EM68

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    I agree with Chip. Given your past with your family, I would wait. :slight_smile:
     
  7. No One

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    That's actually why I havent told them thus far. I can deal with their comments, anger, and disapproving, I deal with it everyday with my religious and political views, but I dont want them to force me to do anything I dont want to.

    Not that I think they would honestly do anything like that, because they arent those kind of people (at least I dont think they are). I am so close to being 18, that it would be logistically emotionally disastrous for them. I have a steady income, and could easily find a place to live (I am very independent), so I could easily file for emancipation in the case that they tried anything... and I dont think my parents would risk destroying our relationship (my family is very close)...

    I dont know what to do... Because I want to do it so bad, and just be out to everyone at school, but I dont know...
     
  8. Chip

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    They've already shown themselves to be crazy and not terribly logical. So you really don't know *what* they might do. Remember in their eyes, sending you to straight camp is "saving your soul" so as good Christians, they might rationalize that they can justify destroying your relationship with them if it saves your soul.

    I wouldn't risk it, particularly if you are nearly 18.
     
  9. Paper Heart

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    Not to mention that if anyone comments on it and your family sees it....? You see where thats going. I suggest waiting.