So I've been open about my sexuality for a few years now with my friends and they have all been pretty cool with it, give or take a few whom I have had a falling out with. But, I've never told my family about it. I come from a pretty Catholic family, nothing wrong with that I just have a feeling that they may try and fall back on old Church teachings that may bite me in the ass. I've tried on a few occasions to tell them like at dinner, when they are in a room watching television, and once even at Christmas, guess we would have something to discuss around the Christmas tree if i did :dry: But I never did because I've either chickened out or thought it was not proper timing, like the Christmas incident. So recently I've been given a big opportunity to go to Europe and visit all these different countries there and play with this big orchestra with specially selected musicians, something I've been wanting to do since a friend of mine went a year ago after being selected himself. It wont happen until next year, but I've been diverting away from the main point. I'm going to be gone for almost a month and I've been thinking of getting my family around and telling them that I'm Bi the night before I leave, or maybe a day I really haven't thought that part through much, and just kind of let them ponder about it while I'm off in Europe. I'm hoping that since I'll be gone I wont have to explain myself or be berated, if they do berate me, for almost a month. It'll give them time to think it over and maybe when I come back I'll come back to a family that knows their son is Bi and wont think anything of it. Am I going about it the right way or am I making a complete mistake and going about this horribly? I really don't want to make some huge mistake and go along with this just to come home and find out that I've been disowned or they did something drastic and I'm going to be living in a complete hell until I go off to college.
There is no real "right way" to come out. And additionally, therefore, there is no "proper timing." You'll know when that time is, or maybe you won't and it'll just happen. I can't really give you too much advice on the subject matter, because I'm actually struggling with living with a family who has absolutely no idea their son is bisexual, and probably never will. However, I really commend you on being so brave and really taking this step though, I don't know if I ever could. It was hard enough coming out to my best friends. Whatever you decide to do, the best of luck to you, and always remember, it gets better. All of us at EC are here for advice, and I'm hoping a few others will chime in before long.
I wouldn't reccommend coming out just before you leave; you and your family probably will need to discuss your sexuality, and I know that I would also want to be able to watch my family as they accept me, know what is influencing them, etc. It is up to you, though, and everyone is different.
I wouldn't recommend coming out the day before you leave either. Coming out to your family is somthing that you'll need to talk about. They may have have negative stereotypes or misunderstandings regarding bisexuals that you'll need to clarify for them, inorder to allow them to fully understand you and understand your sexuality. This can mean all the difference between them accepting you or not. When I came out to my family at first there wasn't much discussion (they probobly already knew ) but in the coming days they asked me a few questions about me, and gays in general, which really helped break down some negative stereotypes that were bothering them. Like that belief that if your gay your gonna get AIDS...pleeeeace thats just not true. Also maybe they will accept you and you coming out then leaveing the next day because you were afraid of their reaction...may hurt their feelings. But I don't know them so you'll be the judge of that. Anyway, congrats on being out to all your friends! Thats what I'm stuggling with now. If you can give me any advice that would be amazing hope I helped
