I have two older sisters and a twin brother and I have great relation ships with all of them. And I would hate to see them get awkward or non existent just because I come out of the closet
If you have a very good relationship with your siblings, then surely they would understand how you are feeling? Is there anything you are worried about will happen in particular when you come out? It might help you to come out to them one-by-one. If you tell them as a group, they will be looking to each other for the group reaction. Rather let them decide for themselves and slowly but surely introduce the idea to the entire family. Furthermore, you can test the waters by introducing gay topics of conversation subtly now and again to determine what their reaction will be. Do you know any of them to be blatantly homophobic? Why are their views that way? What can you do to help explain to them that homosexuality is not wrong?
I'm just worried that I will become the gay kid in the family and never be anything else to them. Also I think that I am probably over reacting about this but how can I help but be worried. I've heard that if one twin is gay there is a 70 percent chance that the other one is too. If my brother is gay then I don't want to be the second one to come out because it will make me look like I'm not corageois and I'm just following his lead.
Hi and welcome to EC!. First, I think your fears are pretty common with everyone who contemplates coming out. It's hard to think of a situation that makes us more vulnerable than having to come out to family members and worry about what they'll say/think. But the truth is that in nearly all cases, unless your parents are religious fundies, they will be fine with it, even if it initially shocks and upsets them... and your siblings will likely be even more accepting. As to whether your brother is gay... it depends on whether you're identical or fraternal twins. Identical there's a pretty high likelihood that your brother is gay too. Fraternal, no more likely than any other sibling.
Im working on coming out to my family right now too. As for my siblings, i've just been watching and waiting to see when I want to tell them. Just from what you've said, it seems like the first thing you should do is talk to your twin about it. If he's gay too, you'll be helping both of you by talking to each other, and if hes not, hes still probably your closest twin. Theres always a million other family dynamics that come into play when coming out, so you'll never know what will happen till you do it. You know your family better than we do. Good luck!
Yeah definitely speak to your twin. Chances are he won't judge you for feeling how you do and you will be able to discuss the feelings you have been feeling before now with him. This way you get to come out slowly and you get a second opinion. However, it becomes more complicated knowing you have a twin, because if you're sure you are gay, but he isn't, then it might be difficult for him to cope if his twin has come out first, just as it would be for you. Why not discuss this with him and both come out as gay or straight or whatever together? You can both tackle the issue together so you have each other for support. Maybe some more context would help us? How old are you and your siblings? How were you guys raised? Religious background? Political inclinations more liberal or not?
My sister wouldn't hug me and was a bit awkward with me when I came out thinking I would somehow be attracted to her... I explained that I wasn't, just as if she had a brother who was straight, he wouldn't be attracted to her. Over time, and after meeting a couple of my exes, she's become ok with it. She pokes fun at me sometimes when she sees me looking at a pretty lady.
I don't come from any sort of religious background and I can tell u right now that I am sure that my parents would be super understanding. Ad that is why I have never really woried about coming out to them I just need it to be the right time. I am in grade 9 (so is my twin brother) We have never really had any kind of seriosly talk before so i would even know how to start. As foe whether we are fraternal or identical. No body really knows. The doctors said that we are fraternal even though we look exactly alike and share the same rare blood type. And I have read alot about a sort of half and half kind of twin that shares slot of genes with his counterpart despite being fraternal twins. So I don't know where that leaves me as to what chace there is of him being gay 2
Ahem.. I had to deal with 5 siblings. If you know your family is quite liberal, open minded or something, don't be afraid to say it. Although at a younger age, it might be harder for them to understand, if you have much older siblings (say, someone in their 20s or 30s) I think they will better understand the situation, as they've probably had friends who were also gay or whatever. They've seen all kinds of things. Perhaps you might want to wait for your twin brother, as you are both quite young. Unless you are positive that he will react positively. If you have a great relationship with them, it should be fine
you can't control what they do. they are your family, they will love you. they may not understand or agree, but all you can do is just be honest with them. i'd start with the one you had the closest relationship with and start there. see how that goes.
Well, seems you are pretty confident about telling your parents, so why not come out to them and then ask them to keep quiet about it for now while you decide what you wanna do with your siblings? You could ask them for advice on your siblings, because your parents will know them very well. That is what I would do. Interesting that you are in the same position I was... I knew and accepted I was gay at15 years old and came out. Granted, I waited until I was 16 because I thought my parents would take me more seriously... I also did my research on all the types of questions they might ask so I could answer them confidently. Then my sister guessed it and asked me and a few months later I told my brother. Theyre all used to it now and fine with it
